Growth requires...

Splitting Our Skin

“One of the essential requirements for true spiritual growth and deep personal transformation is coming to peace with pain. No expansion or evolution can take place without change, and periods of change are not always comfortable. Change involves challenging what is familiar to us and daring to question our traditional needs for safety, comfort, and control. This is often perceived as a painful experience.” Michael A. Singer (The Untethered Soul)

No one likes to be told, “Get ready for a little pain.” It's like when the doctor says to you just before a pelvic or prostate exam, “You'll feel a little pressure here.” Oh, boy! You know what's coming, and “a little pressure” does not cover the subject. We are instinctively conditioned to resist painful stimuli.

My little dog, Liza, yelps when you touch her front legs. Even if that touch is in no way painful, she squeals in protest. My theory is that somewhere along the way, perhaps when she was a pup, someone picked her up by her front legs. It's the kind of thing a child would do, not intending to hurt her, but it did. Now she anticipates pain, and gets the jump on it.

Change is often painful. Even when the change is something we want, as organisms, we must adapt. And for the period of time during which we are accommodating the change, we are uncomfortable—sometimes intensely so.

Sunday, the spirituality group met outside under a large crepe myrtle tree. We shared a ten-minute mindfulness meditation during which we were to attend to our surroundings. We noticed that the crepe myrtle, fragrant, and in full bloom, also had, at the ends of some branches, the dead husks of last year's blooms. And, its bark had split to make room for this year's growth. Under the old split bark, the new skin was smooth, red and vulnerable.

We, too, must occasionally split our skin in order to grow. We, too, can experience death in the same container as fragrant life. One is not good, and one bad—they are opposite sides of the same coin.

                                             In the Spirit,

                                                    Jane