Being
Ordinary
“We
are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are
all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It
just depends on the day.” Brad Meltzer
When
I was a high school girl, my girlfriends would travel down to the
Charlotte Colosseum to see rock and roll stars like Paul Anka,
Fabian, and Frankie Avalon. They would scream themselves hoarse, and
cry and carry-on like fools. I never went. First of all, I couldn't
have sat through their ridiculous behavior without resorting to
violence, and secondly, because I couldn't bear to be crushed by that
great a crowd. I was always a shy kid, and being in an enormous crowd
of unknown people did not fall into the purview of “fun” for me.
As a young adult, I made my living directing programs for people with
disabilities—always in the non-profit sector. So I spent a great
deal of time fund-raising. I spoke to large groups, community
organizations, civic clubs, once to the North Carolina Governor's
Council. I had to come out of the background and stand alone before
them and do a good enough job that they would reach into their
pockets. I had terrible panic attacks that I learned to talk through,
keep going and even be moderately entertaining. It was never
comfortable for me.
Much
later in life, I learned about introversion and extroversion—the
fundamental difference between internal processing and external
processing. Introverts are, by their very nature, quiet, shy, some
would say, withdrawn and aloof. Extroverts are considered out-going,
gregarious, friendly. America is a nation of extroverts—seventy-five
per cent of us fall into that category. So it's very difficult to be
introverted in this culture. Here's the saving grace: we all have
both these characteristics. We who are predominately introverted, can
call upon extroversion when we need to. And extroverts, believe it or
not, can be quiet and thoughtful when they need to be. We can develop
those weaker aspects of personality if we try, because we need both
sets of skills to function in today's world.
If
you are a shy person like me, rest assured that inside you lives a
closet extrovert who can come to life and actually serve a purpose by
bringing a thoughtful perspective, a deeper consideration to many
subjects. You may have to dig down to find her/him. Acting helps. I
caught a first glimpse of my shadow extrovert in a 7th
grade play. I didn't have to be shy-me, I could be daring her. Taking
on roles that are different from your personality, bringing to
life a character who is your opposite, is very good training.
Important,
too, to realize that the world needs both extroversion and
introversion. We introverts may be a silent minority, but we're
extremely important to the whole. Be yourself—and be proud of
yourself—that's the most important thing.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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