Friday, May 2, 2014

The Spiritual Advantages of...

Being Ordinary

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.”    Brad Meltzer

When I was a high school girl, my girlfriends would travel down to the Charlotte Colosseum to see rock and roll stars like Paul Anka, Fabian, and Frankie Avalon. They would scream themselves hoarse, and cry and carry-on like fools. I never went. First of all, I couldn't have sat through their ridiculous behavior without resorting to violence, and secondly, because I couldn't bear to be crushed by that great a crowd. I was always a shy kid, and being in an enormous crowd of unknown people did not fall into the purview of “fun” for me.

As a young adult, I made my living directing programs for people with disabilities—always in the non-profit sector. So I spent a great deal of time fund-raising. I spoke to large groups, community organizations, civic clubs, once to the North Carolina Governor's Council. I had to come out of the background and stand alone before them and do a good enough job that they would reach into their pockets. I had terrible panic attacks that I learned to talk through, keep going and even be moderately entertaining. It was never comfortable for me.

Much later in life, I learned about introversion and extroversion—the fundamental difference between internal processing and external processing. Introverts are, by their very nature, quiet, shy, some would say, withdrawn and aloof. Extroverts are considered out-going, gregarious, friendly. America is a nation of extroverts—seventy-five per cent of us fall into that category. So it's very difficult to be introverted in this culture. Here's the saving grace: we all have both these characteristics. We who are predominately introverted, can call upon extroversion when we need to. And extroverts, believe it or not, can be quiet and thoughtful when they need to be. We can develop those weaker aspects of personality if we try, because we need both sets of skills to function in today's world.

If you are a shy person like me, rest assured that inside you lives a closet extrovert who can come to life and actually serve a purpose by bringing a thoughtful perspective, a deeper consideration to many subjects. You may have to dig down to find her/him. Acting helps. I caught a first glimpse of my shadow extrovert in a 7th grade play. I didn't have to be shy-me, I could be daring her. Taking on roles that are different from your personality, bringing to life a character who is your opposite, is very good training.

Important, too, to realize that the world needs both extroversion and introversion. We introverts may be a silent minority, but we're extremely important to the whole. Be yourself—and be proud of yourself—that's the most important thing.

                                                           In the Spirit,
                                                                Jane



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