Saturday, January 4, 2014

Teachable Moments

Happiness Seminar

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” 
 Omar Khayyam (The Rubaiyat)

A flier came in the mail sometime in the last week or so. I found it when going through my holiday-collected-stack. It announces a six hour seminar on “The Habits of Happy People.” Here's a quoted statistic for you: “About 50% is genetic, 40% is within our power to change, and only 10% is affected by life circumstances.” I had to think about this for a while. Nature vs. nurture. When you are born to, and reared by people who are pessimistic, you're conditioned to see the negative in every situation. You learn early to expect life to be difficult, and that you will not have the resources to deal effectively with it. In short, you inherit a natural tendency toward pessimism, and you learn how to be unhappy. That's a hurdle to overcome.

But if we can learn how to be unhappy, we can also learn how to be happy. The science of happiness has to do with brain chemistry—neurotransmitters that calm anxiety and control mood, such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. The psychology of happiness is one of pro-active determination. It includes gaining the ability to express what's in your heart; to speak your truth. If you grew up in a home where expressing honest feelings was not respected, perhaps even punished, then learning, first, exactly what you're feeling, and second, how to accurately express it, is a challenge. It takes courage and practice.

Cultivate kindness—first toward yourself, and then with others. The extent to which we are kind and empowering to ourselves, will determine how we treat others. When we reach out to people in kindness, we expand our world and give ourselves reason to feel good about who we are. Work to see the good in any situation—whether life circumstances are labeled good or bad, ask 'what can I learn from this?'

Keep moving. Regular exercise, especially when it's done outside, is great for increasing those before-mentioned brain chemicals, some of which require sunlight for production. Find what you enjoy doing, and what feels good to you with regard to exercise, and you will be more likely to keep at it.

Discover your strengths and use them. Feeling capable, competent and creative is conducive to being happy and contented. Be willing to learn from others. Be teachable. Identify someone you believe to be happy and satisfied with their life, and ask them questions. What keeps you positive? Why are you optimistic? What gives you hope?

And, finally, there is a direct correlation between having a meaningful spiritual life and one's feelings of contentment. Find something to believe in, to go to when you need encouragement, and cultivate it. A spiritual practice is, to my mind, essential to happiness. Living in relationship to Spirit, however we may define it, enables us to see the good that already exists in our lives. It transforms what might be deemed negative into positive through the power of love and light.

                                            In the Spirit,
                                                Jane



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