What motivates you?

Motive and Actions

“Every action has some motive behind it, some impetus, a force-field out of which it arises. If we do not explore that force we will never act in a transcendent way; we will live out our active lives as automatons who move but do not choose.”

                                     Parker Palmer (The Active Life)

Past generations, at least in my tribe, never stopped to question their motives for doing much of anything. Sometimes I envy that blissful state of oblivion. They were far more able to live from their gut and act on impulse rather than struggle with the big question of why, or as we like to ask in these parts, “How come?” As in, “How come I said that ugly thing to Mable? She's my friend!” Nah, they didn't second guess themselves like that.

All actions stem from motives whether we're aware of them or not. Perhaps the motive is to please someone else, or to take something we want, or to serve another person's wants; we all have our reasons for doing what we do. Not all of them are benign. Very often if we scrape away the first layer, the “persona-motive,” we find that our true intention is to curry favor, or to stain the image of another, or to gain status, or any of a million other ulterior reasons. This doesn't make us bad people. I've learned from watching my pets that jealousy isn't unique to humans.

There is no way to know yourself without examining your motives. Sometimes taking a deeper look at what drives us is revealing of a whole other personality operating in the background—let's call it the unfulfilled life. You see it in parents who vicariously live through their children, or attempt to force them in directions they themselves wanted to go but were unable. You see it in people who thwart their spouse's ambitions because they are afraid of being overshadowed. You see it in children who bully as a defense against being bullied themselves. Sometimes that alter-ego turns out to have a heart of gold that we don't acknowledge in ourselves for fear of being self-congratulatory.

Motives drive all our behavior—as many layers of motives as we have defense mechanisms for hiding them. It's good to do a little delving to find out exactly what drives you. Inside those motives we will uncover our greatest fears, and our secret desires.

                                                 In the spirit,

                                                    Jane