Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bless the children. Pray for the parents.


Childish Energy

The first idea that a the child must acquire in order to be actively disciplined is that of the difference between good and evil; and the task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confuse good with immobility, and evil with action.”
                                            Maria Montessori

It is the nature of young children to be active and engaged for as many hours each day as they are awake. They are learning every minute of everyday. I recall asking the Pediatrician whether my first born was hyperactive as I was on my knees, dragging him out from under the cabinet in the doctor's examining room. He said to me, “My dear, all two-year-old's are hyperactive. If he weren't, then we would worry.”

My neighbor has a three-year-old boy and a sick newborn. The older child has made it his mission in life to do everything possible to keep the undivided attention of his mother squarely on himself. It's hard to watch, and I'm sure he's exhausted with the effort, as is his beleaguered mother. Everything in me wants to push the 'off' switch on his ingenious back and give his mom a little break. She's very patient, knowing that he has much to adjust to with a new baby in the house. I feel my father's impatience rearing it's ugly head inside me. He would have wielded the rod to “teach that brat a lesson.”

I've written before about the child at my church, now five years old, who is like an old woman's soul in a little girl's body. She sits very primly through worship, stands at the right time, never twitches or fidgets, never crawls in her mother's lap or begs to go to the bathroom. Everybody in the church talks about how very “good” she is, what a perfect little lady. I watch her in complete amazement, and wonder what she'll be like as a teenager, when the desire to please her mother goes out the window. She will have a lot of mischief to make up for.

We must learn a lot as adults about what makes for a good parent (or grandparent). The parent who can allow for much exploration and mess-making, who can redirect that outrageous energy without squelching it. The notion that a child is “good” when they are acting like a small adult, and “bad” when they are behaving like a normal, inquisitive child, is a dangerous one, even if it is understandable. There is a reason why we have children when we are young and energetic ourselves. The work of childhood is discovery, invention, and mastery. God bless the parents who can keep up with this wild generation of innovators. Better buy some running shoes!

                                            In the spirit,
                                               Jane

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