Becoming
One
“Yet
beneath all the talk of tragedy and grace, I have come to believe
that we are destined to be opened by the living of our days, and
whether we like it or not, whether we choose to participate or not,
we will, in time, every one of us, wear the deeper part of who we are
as a new skin.”
Mark
Nepo (The Book of Awakening)
When
I was a teenager, I began the often painful process of defining
myself, as every teen does. It's an awkward duck-walk. These last few
years, I have been privy to the coming of age of a young woman in my
church. She's fifteen now and several times a day she posts on
Facebook photos of herself and her friends doing whatever they are
doing, of all the pop-stars they swoon over, and clothes and books
they like. She's beginning the process of figuring it out.
By
our twenties, we think we know who we are, but oh, my goodness, we do
not! Through all the decades, we layer on aspects, meet new
personalities and are surprised by strengths--and weaknesses--we didn't know we had.
It takes a lifetime to discover the answer to “Who am I?”
Some
people go harder into that good night than others. Some want to hang
on to the 'me' they think is best and not move on. Life doesn't allow
for that. If you try, She will hand you events that you didn't see
coming, saying, “Let's try this. Move along, move along.” She is
all about the growth of your soul, and not whether you are cool, hot
and at the top of your game. Failure is a necessary step in the
rounding-out process. For some of us, more than one failure is
necessary to topple us off our 'ego' pedestal and get us on with the
business at hand.
Most
of us, thankfully, do make the journey. And more of us are aware of
the necessity of making it than used to be. I was talking with a
group of young, twenty-somethings last Sunday, who spoke openly of
their fears about the way ahead. They said they knew that the burden
was on their shoulders to move consciousness along; that they felt a
huge responsibility and some trepidation as to whether they were up
to it. They spoke of the difficulty of doing all that's required of
them in their day-light lives, and still finding time to address the
lessons of consciousness. They are correct on all counts. It is hard,
it is necessary and it is on their shoulders—and they are up to it.
Most
of us will become all of who we are, not because we eagerly search it
out, but because life will force the issue. We will rise to the
occasion, because it is required of us. We will find the strength to
carry the process into the next stage, and to bind the disparate
parts of our self into an integrated whole. But not until late in
life—when it's sweetest.
In
the spirit,
Jane
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