Connections
“Whether
it be physics or architecture or Eastern forms of meditation or
Western forms of prayer, every field of inquiry affirms the fact that
the wider our view, the less isolated we are. The more connected we
stay to everything larger than us, the less turbulent our time on
Earth.”
Mark
Nepo (The Book of Awakening)
For
years I worked as a counselor in private practice. As such, I heard
many a sad story of loss and betrayal and bitterness. When I first
went into counseling, I thought it was my job to help people find
solutions to their problems. We would discuss the problem and try out
different approaches; they would come back the next week just as
troubled as before. It was a long time before I learned that people
just wanted to be heard. They wanted someone who cared about them to
listen and empathize. They wanted to feel connected to another human
being who understood what they were living through so they wouldn't
feel alone.
When
we are going through tough times, it is our inclination to withdraw.
We may be embarrassed about the circumstances of our lives, or we may
feel that our mood is a 'downer' to everyone around us. But
especially in those times, we need to summon up the courage and
energy to reach out and allow people to help us. We all benefit from
proximity to others, and the gift is not one-way. Your model may help
the next person to reach out when they are in need of a compassionate
friend.
Anyone
who has ever meditated with a group knows that the power of the
circle deepens and expands the experience. In my church we have the
prayers of the people, so that individuals may speak what is on their
hearts and the congregation can support them. These prayers wrap
around and embrace the whole community, binding us together so that
no one stands alone. Connection with others lessens the burden that
difficulties bring. In the words of Mark Nepo, “When the pains of
living feel sharp, open up your attention and give it freely, and the
connections will even out the sharpness.”
I
hope that your life is free of pain today. If it isn't, reach out and
allow the warmth of a fellow human being to comfort you. If your life
is going well, reach out to someone else and give them the gift of
connection.
In
the spirit,
Jane
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