Imprints that Made You

 

Past and Present

“…What I want to say is

that the past is the past,

and the present is what your life is,

and you are capable

of choosing what that will be,

darling citizen.

Come to the pond,

or the river of your imagination,

or the harbor of your longing,

and put your lips to the world.

And live

your life.”

Mary Oliver (“Mornings at Blackwater")

          The more I come to understand myself, the more I realize how very much I’ve been blind to. How patterned we are by when and where we were born, by the family we were born into, and by the times. When I look at my own family of origin, I know that they had fewer choices than I, and less education, and yet they were able to cobble together a life and prosper. They had the puritan values of hard work and no frills. They accepted the hardships of life as just part of it, and did the best they could to carry on. They were brave and flawed and operated without the benefit of depth psychology. Because of their hard work, I was able to go to college and make a different life for myself—one which they accepted but didn’t understand or relate to.

          Mary Oliver is right, of course, the past is the past and your life is lived in the present. However, your past has made an indelible imprint on they way you live in the present. In the famous words of William Faulkner, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” And that is because we carry it into the present in our very DNA. The image I have is of the line of baby ducks following behind their mother—or whoever imprinted on their little brains first. We carry a genetic imprint, a web of neurons that have been trained in a particular way, and eons of accumulated experience that goes into every choice we make. The very best we can do is to be aware of our patterns and our family’s patterns, and be able to recognize them for what they are. When we are aware, then we can choose. But as long as we refuse to look at how we were programed to be by the people who gave us life, we will perpetuate those patterns—both good ones and the bad. That’s where the choice comes in—we can choose to look or not. And we can choose to act on what we see, or not. Your past informs your present, all the way back to the primeval waters. You are amazing in scope and breadth. I hope you know that.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane