Pay
Attention
“To
acknowledge one another is one of the most powerful ways of giving love. If I
am paying attention, I will notice what others around me are doing. Who in my
life needs to be called out into the hall and told that their good work, their
kindness, their unselfishness has been noticed?”
Tracy
Balzer (A Journey of Sea and Stone, p.112; Broadleaf Books, Minneapolis, MN,
2021)
Part of
practicing gratitude is acknowledging the people in your life who support,
challenge, and indulge you when you need it. One of the best ways of showing
gratitude is the simple act of giving them your undivided attention—even if for
only 15 minutes. I wonder how many people at your Thanksgiving dinner brought their
cell phones to the table and spent part of their time texting people who weren’t
there. In this day of digital addiction, we find it hard to ignore the jingle
of a text message. I find myself torn when I am with someone else, and my cell
phone goes off. I’ll bet you do too. It's operant conditioning at its finest.
This,
to my way of thinking, is one of the most destructive things happening in
relationships today. If you sit down to a beautiful dinner that someone has prepared
for you, and instead of looking at them, paying attention to what you are
eating, and what they are saying, you are clicking away on your phone, that’s
pretty good indication that they are not your priority. On the other hand, if you
make eye contact, listen, respond to their words, enjoy their food, appreciate their
interest in you, the signal is clear that you care about them, too.
With
family, as with close friends, we sometimes forget that all relationships need tending
if they are to stay vibrant and healthy. Giving your attention is a simple way of
saying I love you enough to invest my time and energy in you. You are
important to me, and our relationship is fundamental to my happiness.
Ask
yourself this: who in my life have I ignored or overlooked for far too long? Who
would appreciate ten minutes of my undivided attention? Who do I take for
granted? Show your love by telling them how much they mean to you. There’s no
better gift than that.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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