Friday, November 4, 2022

Greetings and Lamentations

 

Praise and Thanksgiving

“I realized this week how much easier it is for me to talk about lamenting and complaining to God and how much trickier it feels to cut loose and praise God…Maybe it is so much easier for me to long for what I want, or to resent what I have lost than it is for me to be thankful for what I have.”

Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber (Sermon on Gratitude, Oct. 18, 2016)

          Nadia Bolz-Weber began this sermon speaking about how hard it is for her to write thank-you notes for gifts given to her. The worst, she said, happened was then she was 12 years old and had a birthday party with 12 friends that resulted in having to write 12  thank-you notes. I can relate. I too am terrible about writing thank-you notes, and I have no excuse whatsoever. I simply am resistant to changing my schedule to accomodate anything I don't want to do. Know what I mean?

          I like to have my days free to do what I want to do—and I always have fifteen things I want to do that don’t include writing awkward thank you notes. How many ways are there to say thank you. It’s redundant, and it feels insincere after the third one—is it okay not to be creative and just write the same thing on five notes? Why not just make a template with blanks in it for filling in the item or event that you’re grateful for. If that’s the case, why not just shoot off an email saying, “Hey, thanks!” You see where I’m going with this, right?

          It is easier (and more fun) to lament what we lack—things, money, friends, family—than it is to realize just how blessed we are. Besides we bond with people over our lacks and our wants and not so much over our haves. And, truly, who wants to hear you go on and on about your many blessings when they have some laments of their own they're eager to share! Nobody!

          All that aside, it’s better for your health, especially your emotional health, to begin to take stock of what you have rather than what you lack. We can focus our attention on anything we choose, so why not choose to focus on something helpful to us? If you want to feel the despair, resentment, and anger that keeps you longing for what you don’t have, fine—you’re free to do so. But don’t expect to feel good while you do it. Expect to feel chronic pain from inflammation. And don’t expect others to feel good listening to it, either. One good solid lament is okay, but a whole lifetime of them is, well, just boring. People turn away, or worse, avoid ever facing you.

          I’m preaching this, by the way, because I’m guilty of doing all of it. I can be Debbie Downer with the best of them. I have whole days when I can’t see a single thing to be grateful for. I guess on those days, I just need to be sad and grumpy. But at least I know it’s my choice to be sad and grumpy. That’s the thing about working on your consciousness—you can’t get away with telling yourself lies and blaming other people or other circumstances for your bad mood. It’s you, babe!

          Look around and find one thing you are grateful for. And then find another, and another. Pretty soon you will fling caution to the wind and sing praises with a grateful heart. Believe me, when you do, you will feel so much better.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

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