Overcoming
Overcommitment
“Overcommitment
is what happens when your enthusiasm for life collides with the reality of your
calendar.”
Rachel
Shultz (Manage Motherhood)
Since we
are entering fall and facing the rapid approach of back-to-back holidays, it’s
a good idea to consider overcommitment. Because…well, it’s the American way,
and when the holidays are over, we feel exhausted for quite a while. So, how
about we consider the causes and solutions for overcommitment before the holiday
ball gets rolling. Please know that I’m doing this for myself as well as for
all you other workaholics out there.
Here
are a few reasons people overcommit according to Dr. Karen’s website from August
16, 2021: 1) They feel inadequate. They expect themselves to be the “hostess
with the mostest” in all aspects of life because if they aren’t, they feel like
a total failure. It’s the toxic side of the Puritan work ethic—we jump from the
“greatest” to “not worth a damn” in one leap. 2) They need to be well-liked and
feel as if they must carry the massive burden of everybody’s work to gain
acceptance. 3) Some of us love to start projects but have difficulty finishing
any of them. Sooner or later, we find ourselves surrounded by the half-done
projects we enthusiastically committed to without even a breath of interest or
excitement for them now. It’s deadly, trust me.
To be
sure, we live in a culture of overcommitment, and over-expectation, especially
since Covid reduced the workforce to a skeleton crew. It is not uncommon for
Americans to work 50-60 hours per week. Other western countries have laws that limit
the number of hours per week a person can be expected to work. We have no such
laws here. We have an infectious workaholic community in which we see others overworking
and feel we must follow suite to be competitive.
Some of
the warning signs of overcommitment include: 1) Not getting enough sleep. Being
so hyped up that sleep won’t come and when it does, it’s fitful, so we’re
chronically tired. 2) Important people in one’s personal life are going by the
wayside because there’s no time for them. 3) We aren’t eating or exercising
properly because we’re always on the run—no time for the gym, and consuming a
steady diet of fast-food or missing meals entirely. 4) We feel like we’re
constantly working but still not getting enough done, and there’s no time to
stop and think about how we got into this situation and how to get out of it.
Here are
some suggestions Dr. Karen gives for overcoming overcommitment: #1: Say NO! and
mean it. Hold the boundary, and that means keeping your work week to 40 hours
no matter what. Prioritize by listing all the tasks that you are expected to do
according to your job title and drawing up a timeline of what needs to be done
first, second and so on. What can be delegated or put off for a while? If the
task is not in your job description, respectfully but firmly decline doing it.
Understand your own triggers—what stresses you out? What depletes your energy
and what improves it? Pay attention to your diet—especially to hydration and excessive
caffeine. Get to know your co-workers and identify those who can help you with
overflow projects. Let your boss or supervisor know, respectfully, that you are
feeling overwhelmed and need to get control of your time and energy. Clear,
non-threatening communication is key. (based on, “Overcoming Overcommitment:
Causes and Solutions, Dr. Karen’s website, August 16, 2021)
There
is nothing about overcommitment that serves you. Let me repeat that: There is
NOTHING about overcommitment that serves you. In the workplace, it spells
burnout, and in your personal life, it creates difficulty in relationships.
Overcommitment doesn’t mean that you are the best worker, doing the best job,
and in fact, it may mean that your work is sub-par. Exhaustion does that to a
human being.
Going into the holidays,
put avoidance of overcommitment on the front burner, not the back. Pay
attention to your fatigue factor and adjust accordingly. There is nothing to gained
from trying to do more than is possible to do in a reasonable amount of time. Take
the initiative to reinforce your boundaries right now. You’ll be glad you did.
In the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment