Fear’s
Opening
“That
torn place your fear has opened up inside of you is a holy place. Look around
while you are there. Pay attention to what you feel. It may hurt you to stay
there and it may hurt you to see, but it is not the kind of hurt that leads to
death. It is the kind that leads to life.”
Barbara
Brown Taylor (Home By Another Way, p.72)
In the
chapter titled, “Life-Giving Fear,” Barbara Brown Taylor sources her
sermon from Luke 13:1-9, which recounts an exchange between Jesus and some of
his followers. They tell him that Pilot has mingled some Galileans’ blood with
their sacrifices, and Jesus' response it two-sided. First, he tells
them that these Galileans were not responsible for their fate, that their sins
were no greater than anyone else's, but then he follows up by warning them to
repent or perish as those Galileans did. It is both absolution and judgement.
Nothing is more perplexing to most humans than to receive such a mixed message—what
do we do with it?
Most of
the time, our first response to calamity and the fear it causes is to blame
either ourselves or someone else. This seems to be our way of throwing an
anchor into a tumultuous sea. It must be someone’s fault, and we prefer
to blame even ourselves rather than admit that there are millions of things over
which we have no control. It is hard to accept that bad things happen to truly
good people—for no reason at all. That bad things happen to us and no one is at
fault.
Case in
point, a friend of mine worked in another state for a period of years, and dutifully
paid taxes in that state, but she also has a home in Alabama. Last week, out of
the blue, she received a letter from the state saying she owed $15,000.00 in
back-taxes to Alabama. This person is immune-compromised and out of work because
of coronavirus but is receiving no workman’s compensation because her workplace
has reopened in spite of the pandemic. To say she is upset is an understatement.
She did all the right things, but she is still subject to misfortune. We all
are.
My
daddy used to tell me, when I whined about the unfairness of being grounded for
an infraction of the rules or punished for making a bad grade, “Nobody promised
you fair. Life is not fair. Get used to it!” Harsh, yes, but also true. What
happens to us in this life is forty percent up to us, and sixty percent up to chance,
or if you prefer, fate. That does not mean that we should squander our forty
percent. And it doesn’t mean that there are not good and bad ways to deal with
the sixty percent we didn’t see coming. Life deals the cards, but how we play
the hand is up to us.
We are
all carrying a load of fear during this year of the great pandemic. We fear for
our lives and our children’s lives. We fear for our financial stability and our
future. All this fear makes us feel heavy and disoriented. As it should. We simply
have to be here now and do what we can to mitigate fear’s influences. It can be
a window into a kinder-gentler world, or a gateway into purgatory. It can open
our hearts or close them. As hard as it is to accept, this is holy ground. Take off your
shoes and tread lightly.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment