Telling
Lies
“The
senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those
who have deceived us even once.”
Rene
Descartes
Deception
occurs in all facets of life. The average human being, for instance,
tells 1.65 lies per day. Several studies done in 2010 showed that of the total
number of lies told on any given day, 23% will be told by 4% of the population,
and fully half are told by 5%. In other words, some people lie more than others.
According to Psychologist Gad Saad, the ability to lie is one factor that led
to the evolution of our large brains. We developed what he calls the “Machiavellian
capacity,” which is the capacity for improved deception, along with the ability
to detect deception in others—i.e. we got better at lying with a straight face,
and at recognizing the signs when other people are lying.
The
ability to self-deceive helps. According to evolutionary biologist, Robert
Trivers, self-deception permits us to do a better job of deceiving others, and it
helps us to navigate safely in a world filled with human deception. Our
president is recognized as a master of deception. He has made fact-checking into
an industry, and his number of daily lies has increased over time. According to
those who count these “alternative facts,” in the beginning of his presidency,
he told 4.9 lies per day, which has now increased to 9 lies per day.
One
might wonder why this increase happens. Well, there’s research about that,
too. Associate Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at University College in
London, Tali Sharot, researched why some people (not specifically Trump) become
more deceptive as they go along. She found that our emotional response to
telling a lie is reduced every time we lie. The first time, we might feel a
twinge of regret, but over time and with the retelling of lies, our response
diminishes and goes away entirely. We become guilt-free liars.
Of
course, there are big lies and white lies; some are told to protect and some to
harm, and there’s a huge difference between those two. We all tell white lies. Here’s
the danger; almost none of us, except for con-artists and sociopaths, can tell
a lie without showing tell-tale signs. We are inherently unable to hide our
body language which gives us away. Here are some signs that someone is lying to
you:
1. Inconsistency-not
always a lie; sometimes happens when further details are remembered
2. Suspicious
expressions-includes blushing, blinking, flared nostrils, fake smiles, nervous
laughter
3. Repeating
the question-may be stalling for time to concoct an answer
4. Unnecessary
superlatives-Tremendous! Literally! Or my particular favorite, Beautiful!
5. A
desire to shut everything down-doesn’t want to talk about it, changes the
subject, calls upon someone else
6. Qualifying
language- “if I’m being completely truthful,” “in all honesty”
7. Flourishes
on the word NO-saying no while looking away, saying prolonged or sing-song no,
hesitating before saying no.
8. Failing
to remember details-“I can’t recall,” “I barely know him/her”
9. Inappropriate
emotions-terrible news delivered with a joking attitude, or good news with tempered
enthusiasm
10. Contempt-combination
of anger and moral superiority, makes rapport impossible, and can be recognized
by the curling of one corner of the lip upward and inward. (Bill Murphy, Jr. at
INC.)
None
of us is 100% honest. But if someone lies to you on a regular basis, it’s smart
to steer clear of them. And, if you find yourself manufacturing tales frequently,
you may want to look at that, too. We usually lie when there is something we
fear. A good question to ask is, “What am I afraid might happen if I tell the
truth?
In
the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment