Put
Down the Cudgels
“I
can disagree with your opinion…but I can’t disagree with your experience. And
once I have a sense of your experience, you and I are in relationship,
acknowledging the complexity in each other’s position, listening less guardedly.
The difference in our opinions will probably remain intact, but it no longer
defines what is possible between us.”
Krista Tippett (Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living)
Krista Tippett (Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living)
There
are many people I disagree with these days—some of whom I dearly
love. I wonder whether you’re experiencing that same split. It doesn’t mean
that we have to rip one another apart to make sure we’ve been heard—it only
means we have to take time to listen.
I’ll be honest, it’s truly
hard for me to listen to differing opinions, especially about politics. I chafe
when anyone defends the behavior of our current administration. And I love to slash
and burn by spewing facts all over them. But here’s the thing—I love some of
these folks, and I don’t want to stop being in relationship with them. For some,
there is a question of which is more important—our relationship or our
politics. That is not the question for me. I choose them over the politics any
day of the week. So, the question becomes, “How can we disagree to this extent
and still be in relationship with each other?”
As Krista Tippett says, it’s
a matter of listening to their experience and trying to understand where they’re
coming from—the hardest task of all, right? The attitude of “I’m right and you’re
stupid,” has prevailed to the point that it colors all our interactions. Until
we can back off that there is no hope for reconciliation. We (I) must adjust our
attitude to, “I’m right, and you’re right, because we have different experiences.”
That opens the possibility for give and take, for listening and talking. And,
hopefully, for coming to an understanding that allows for a positive way through
the opposites.
Anger and division serve
a political purpose—they keep us divided on either side of a very dark line, so
that we can’t resolve our differences. We can stay enemies until the November
election, or we can learn to treat each other with respect and understand that we
disagree on some things, but we still care about each other. While we’ve been
conditioned to think that we should “fight” for what we believe, it could also be
true that the fight is unnecessary, and in fact, only gets in the way. We have
the right to vote for what we believe to be best, and we can do that without
maiming each other.
That being said, however,
let there be no question that I support the Black Lives Matter protests 100%.
It’s way past time for equality on every level in this country. In fact, it’s
an embarrassment to me that we’re still sawing away at this old bone of
contention. I believe that we should come together and unanimously pass legislation
that, once and for all, makes it illegal to discriminate against any individual
or group in any arena of life. I support peaceful protest—not violent protest. We
lose integrity when we begin to harm others and destroy property.
There is no moral high ground left for us to stand on if we harm others just
because we disagree with them, or because we prefer to be prejudiced. When we devolve
into that sort of chaos, we revert to “Hannibal mentality”—and that was BCE,
folks. Are we going back there? Really?
Consider this my call for
peace and justice. If we truly live in the “land of the free, and the home of
the brave,” that includes everyone here. Let’s embrace one another in
brotherly love—virtually, of course.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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