Overcome Your Fear

 Do the Work

“Oh, my God! What if you wake up some day and you’re 65 or 75, and you never got your novel or memoir written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools or oceans because your thighs were jiggly or you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen to you.”

Anne Lamott

          Are you that person who cleans for two weeks before you can let anyone come into your house? Does it take you an hour to put on make-up because every flaw in your face must be covered? Do you wear “drapey” clothes so no one can tell you have a few extra pounds around your middle? Do you feel you need a new wardrobe every season in order to “fit-in?” Are you afraid to drive through certain parts of town because the people there don't look like you? Have you refused to wear a bathing suit for a decade because you’re ashamed of your body?

          If you allow fear or shame to lead, you will miss half of your life’s opportunities. Getting to old age without having had fun doing ridiculous nonsense, simply because you don’t want to “make a fool of yourself,” is a sad situation. I agree with Anne Lamott that you don’t want that to happen to you. That’s like living your whole life in a body cast! Whatever it takes for you to break out of that straight jacket, do it. Fear is a great big ugly vampire.

Just once in your life, skinny-dip in the ocean, and always wear whatever clothes make you happy (fashion police be damned). Go to the grocery store without make-up and to the gym without styling your hair. Dance half the night all by yourself. Tell yourself your body is good enough; don’t give other people, especially strangers, the power to decide that for you.

Do whatever psychological work it takes to “get over yourself!” Life is too short, too important, too full of possibilities and fun things to do to cheat yourself out of it. Life can be, as Anne Lamott says, “big, juicy and creative,” so don’t miss out on it simply because you aren’t perfect. Neither are the fashion police! Neither am I! Nobody cares if you have a pimple on your chin or your hair is tangled! As my old mountain daddy would say, “Buck up, Bucko! You’ve got this!” Don’t get to the end of your life and discover you haven’t lived.

                                        In the Spirit,

                                        Jane