Hard
Day’s Silence
“After
a hard day of wrestling with our minds and hearts in deep silence, we all
realize we are in some way wallflowers, shy, broken, closer and truer to the
human condition.”
Natalie
Goldberg (The True Secret of Writing, p.50)
With the corona virus closing in on us and the likelihood of being confined to home looming large, some of us are unprepared. Not so much because of the virus—lord knows most of us have enough food and toilet paper to last for eons—but because being cooped up will be enormously uncomfortable for many. Back in the 1990’s I attended several 10-day retreats with Carol Proudfoot in the southwestern desert. From just after breakfast until dinner we practiced silence. For some, it was impossible; they simply couldn’t go that long without speaking. I loved it and became cross with people who broke the rules and talked. We introverted folks welcome silence so that we can listen to what goes on inside our heads—how else are we to know what we are thinking and feeling?
Silence, once all the internal
noise subsides, gives us opportunity to think thoughts that perhaps we’ve been
running away from, that we don’t want to contemplate for one reason or another.
With enough silence, we find the thoughts will not leave us alone until we take
them seriously and respectfully listen. After a long spell of silence, all the
barriers come down and we confront whatever has been pressing our consciousness.
Then, and only then, do we have a chance at resolution and integration.
If you are to be confined
to home for a couple of weeks because of the virus, try not to fight it. Instead
of chafing and grabbing the phone to make human contact, spend some of it
thinking deeply about yourself, about any life questions that have been bubbling
up into your awareness. Make a list or take notes about your thoughts, and
maybe even hatch a plan. It will relieve your mind to stop running and just allow
it rise-up, then get it down on paper. Decisions and actions will then come
easier.
No life event, even being
quarantined, is all bad. At least it’s not if we can allow it not to be. There
are lessons to be learned and things to be accomplished in any situation if we
are awake and open to them. Even the inconvenience of being home-bound will
show us the extent of our patience and the strength of our metal.
For all our sakes, I hope
and pray for a good outcome and a short life for this viral pandemic. I pray
for you and yours and I hope you will pray for me and mine. Together we will
persist.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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