Worthy
of Love
“Our job
is to love others without stopping to inquire whether they are worthy
or not.”
Thomas
Merton
This quote by Trappist
Monk, Thomas Merton, does not make me happy. In fact, I find it to be
one of the most impossible requirements for being a decent person. I
wonder if you feel the same. It was Jesus who said, “Love God
with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark
12:31) Did he know how imperfect we are? What a loaded
commandment that is! Not only is it practically impossible to love
our neighbor, but it requires that we first love ourselves. How many
of us do that?
If you're anything like
me, and I hope you are not, you are a constant critic of yourself.
Look in any mirror, and what pops into your head is not a
compliment—at least, that's true for me. “You gained weight over
the holidays,” I tell myself. “Your clothes are a mess and too
tight. You need a haircut.” and on it goes. When was the last time
you looked in the mirror and said, “Hello, beautiful. I love you.”
Once in a while we might squeeze out a tiny compliment, like “you'll
do,” or “good enough.” But self-love is scarce for most of us.
A paradox presents itself here, too. We're taught by the same religion to be humble, to not
self-aggrandize. “Pride goes before the fall.” Humility is a
virtue, and all that. We are told our highest purpose is to serve
others. Sometimes it wears you out trying to figure out exactly how
to be. Maybe the best possible option is to be gentle with yourself.
We're all just rough-hewn vessels filled with good intentions that
sometimes fail. We're leaky vessels, at best. If we can learn to be
gentle with ourselves it's just possible that we can be gentle with
others, too—our neighbors even, and our world.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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