The
Real Deal
“Life is
not a dress rehearsal.”
Lawrence
T. Holman
In his pastoral play, As
You Like It, William Shakespeare wrote, “All the world's a
stage...” and sometimes we seem to believe it. I haven't done
much acting in my life—not since middle school, in fact, but I do
know that when you dress up and memorize words for a role, you step
outside of yourself and become someone else. You take on the
personality traits, speech pattern, and stage presence of the
character, and leave yourself in the wings. Method actors sometimes
stay in-character 24/7 when they are filming a movie or television
series, which must be truly unsettling. I recently read the list of
celebrities who died in 2019 and was surprised to see how many of
them died by suicide. One wonders if a lifetime of role-playing
leaves one without a self to come home to.
We all play roles, even
those of us who are not actors, politicians or pastors—three of the
professions where role-playing is a required skill-set. We have a
different costume and personality for each role we play—business
person, athlete, party girl, good guy, wild child, mother, father,
wife, husband—we all have any number of hats we change into and a
persona to go with each one. Sometimes, we may look in the mirror at
the end of the day and not even recognize the person staring back at
us. It's quite disorienting, not to mention exhausting—like
juggling a dozen balls at the same time.
This seems to be an
exclusively human behavior. At it's best, it shows that we are an
exceptionally adaptable species; we can yield to the circumstances,
and do, and be, what is needed in the moment. At it's worst, we can
find ourselves caught in a net of our own making, not knowing who we
are or what ground we stand upon. Sooner or later, we have to walk
off the stage and go home; our role ends, and what is left is of
utmost importance. Can we separate our authentic self from our
persona—from the roles we play? When I am alone, who lives here? Is
that person someone I like to spend time with? How well do I know
them?
Life is not a dress
rehearsal—it's the real deal. We will play a lot of roles over a
lifetime, but unless there is a solid core, a substantial reality to
come home to, we will miss the most important role of all—our true
selves. I hope you will check in with yourself today. How are you
doing?
In the Spirit,
Jane
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