Chill
Out!
“When I
look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man
who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his
life, most of which had never happened.”
Winston
Churchill
Are you a worrier? Me,
too. If I get to the point in this lifetime when I don't worry about
anything, I will know my work here is done—and as they say around
here, “I ain't thar yet!” We humans, because we are so prone to
comparing ourselves with others, are constantly ruminating about how
to fix our flaws, how to appear differently. Whether we think we're
too fat, or too thin, too dumb, or too awkward, too anything negative
we can name, we are making a comparison. It's as though we
spend our waking hours in a line-up waiting to be singled out as the
most unacceptable, unappealing person there—guilty as charged! And
then we spend our nights trying to think up ways to fix the problem.
It's exhausting.
There's a Swedish proverb
that states, “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” In
my youth, I tossed and turned all night, re-running conversations to
parse out all the mistakes I made, and the alternative answers I
“should” have given. The truth is other people don't pay that
much attention to the words coming out of our mouths—they don't
hang on our every word waiting for us to slip up and say something
stupid. We just hand over our power and our self-esteem to them, and
then we worry about it while they're going on with their lives
oblivious to our sleeplessness. It's a little bit nuts, really.
Nothing is made better by
worry, and no one benefits from sleepless nights. Ruminating is a
source of anxiety, and anxiety causes ruminating—it's a continuous
loop. If worry is causing sleepless nights, treatment for anxiety is
one solution. Talking to a counselor or a trusted friend can help,
too. Sometimes, we feel tired and worn out for no reason. According to Dale
Carnegie, “Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by
worry, frustration and resentment.” And, the bottom line is this, it's all for nothing—most of the time, simply addressing
the problem, if there is one, is the solution. Taking one step
forward will often alleviate the tension and reduce the level of
anxiety.
As we head into the
holidays, our tension rises—we feel pressure to meet every
deadline, to have the perfect party, to entertain the in-laws, to
give everyone on our list the perfect gift, and blah, blah, blah—fill
in the blanks. Just stop! Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Then intentionally slow your gait, and take your time. Ask yourself
with all sincerity, “How important is this in the big scheme of
things? One year from now, will I even remember what is driving me
nuts today? Will the earth fall out of alignment with its stars if I
make a mistake or don't turn out to be the best and the most
perfect?” If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, then
go ahead and worry yourself into an early grave. If the answer is
“no” then, for goodness sake, chill. Breathe. Let it go. Just enjoy the season. You
don't have to be perfect. You can just be you, and that is perfect enough.
In the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment