Rough Edges
“True
beauty, the kind that doesn't fade or wash off, takes time. It takes
incredible endurance...”
Amy Harmon
Amy Harmon writes about
our rough edges being sanded away by the gales of life's many storms,
the shifting of our emotional tectonic plates, the rushing waves of
our angry oceans—and after enduring all that, something new emerges
that otherwise wouldn't have existed. Life's difficulties certainly do
change us, and they can sand away our rough edges if we let them.
Rather than simply being beaten down, however, we need to hold on to
a strong and secure center. We don't want to lose the strength of our souls in the
process of losing our rough edges.
Melissa Werner, our newest Jungian
Analyst here in Birmingham, gave a short talk last
night about one's personal mythology. She asked a series of questions
to help us get at what we consider to be our best and worst traits,
our perceived strengths and weaknesses. For every “good”
trait—say, altruism—there is an equal and opposite “bad”
one—in this case, egotism or selfishness. For example, one of my
best traits is nurturing other people, which carries with it the
shadow of being suffocating and of thinking I know what's best for
them. It can even morph into anger when people don't do what I think
they should. In that case, nurturing becomes controlling. This is one
rough edge I'm aware of, but rest assured, there are others—many
others. The trick is to realize that for every good trait, there is a
“shadow” one, and keep them both clearly in view. The goal is to
integrate, not to deny or try to erase. Some of us see only our good
traits, and some of us see only our bad ones, which keeps us
separated from half of who we are. To become whole, we must name and
claim both.
Rough edges have a
purpose—one is to help us remember that we are human
beings—imperfect and perfect, like everyone else. We have the
capacity for great good and great harm. We see that in action every
single day. If we are telling ourselves that we would NEVER do
THAT—whatever THAT is—this may be a good time to rethink what we
are capable of, and allow in the possibility that under the right
circumstances, we would do whatever was necessary. We are not
one-sided beings, but many faceted, mysterious and dangerous, and
kind and magical. Embrace your wholeness, but know that the choices
you make, and the actions you take will determine your personal myth.
This is, after all, your story, your journey, your life. So, what is
your best quality? And what is its opposite?
In the Spirit,
Jane
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