Saturday, October 12, 2019

Infinite Moments


Pay Attention

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”
John Green (The Fault in Our Stars)

Have you noticed the truth of this quote? The porch where I sit to write is on the second floor of my house, so it's at tree branch level. I've been watching a pair of squirrels chasing each other around the oak tree just a few feet away. Neither ever catches the other, but they make a scratchy, chirpy racket of trying. Yesterday, when I was here, the scree of a hawk called out loudly overhead, and the squirrel on the tree plastered itself against the trunk—as flat as possible. I could almost hear it say, “Nothing to see here! Just tree bark.” And it really did blend perfectly. I suspect, however, that the sharp eyes of the hawk could clearly see what was squirrel and what was not. The infinity of a squirrel, after all, is shorter than the infinity of a hawk.

Sometimes, you meet someone—say on an airplane. You spend the whole four hour flight talking together as though you are old friends. You tell this stranger many secrets that even your mother doesn't know. Likewise, they tell you their own. And then the plane lands, and you go your separate ways, never to cross paths again. A chance encounter? A meaningless coming together? I don't think so. It's just that some infinities are smaller than others.

A friend of my friend died unexpectedly this week. My friend had known this woman for twenty-five years. They met with two other women every month to converse about life and to share their goings-on with one another. It was a foursome that had endured through the growing up of children, illnesses, divorces, the death of a spouse, the births of grand children, and many other trials and joys of life. And then, out of the blue, one of them died—the youngest of the group of four. And the other three are devastated. We never expect our infinities to end. The feeling when they do is a mixture of gratitude for the length of time we had with them,, and the stark realization that we wanted more. There may be a sense of being cheated out of something we thought would endure forever.

The lesson here, at least for me, is to appreciate what I have today—the small infinity of this hour, this day. It's a call, as clear as the scree of the airborne hawk, to pay attention to this moment, this day, this person. Souls meet, and we don't know how large or how small our infinity may be. Best not to miss a single one.

                                                    In the Spirit,
                                                      Jane

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