Shed
What's Dead
“And so,
when we cease to shed what's dead in us in order to soothe the fear
of others, we remain partial. When we cease to surface our most
sensitive skin simply to avoid conflict with others, we remove
ourselves from all that is true. When we maintain ways we've already
discarded just to placate the ignorance of those we love, we lose our
access to what is eternal.”
Mark Nepo
(The Book of Awakening, p.105-106)
When I read this excerpt
from Mark Nepo's book, I automatically thought back to how long it
takes most of us to end a relationship. Whether it's a job, or a
marriage, or a friendship that's gone toxic, we have a very hard time
throwing in the towel.
Nepo tells a story from
the Melanesians of the New Hebrides Islands in the South Pacific. It
is a fairy tale about a woman who is growing old, but who has a young
child. The woman goes to the river to shed her skin as is the custom
in her tribe, and after taking off the old skin, she is young and
fresh again. She throws the skin into a river where it is snagged by
a limb. When the woman returns to her village, the child doesn't
recognize her and cries for it's mother. After a while, when all her
attempts to calm the child have failed, she goes back to the river,
retrieves her old skin and puts it back on. From that day forward, no
one has been able to renew themselves by shedding their old skin.
That's how humans became mortal.
Fairy tales are always
true, even if not factual. How many times over the course of our
lives do we remain in our old skin just to keep someone else from
grieving? How often do we deny our own happiness and fulfillment so
that someone else will not be upset or inconvenienced? We sacrifice
our delight in order to make other people comfortable? How often do
we suppress ourselves in order to reassure others that we are not
going to outrun them, nor are we going to run away. How often do we
go to the river, retrieve our old, dried up skin and put it back on
so that the people we love will not suffer? Too often, I'd guess.
The consequences of
refusing our new skin are dire. We humans depend upon new interests
and new discoveries to energize us throughout our long lives.
If we do not allow ourselves this renewal simply because some one
else would be displeased, then we are cutting off the flow of our own
life energy. We are sacrificing ourselves on the altar of not rocking
the boat. That's a sad thing, and it's also a little selfish. The
world has need of people on fire, not people who are afraid to claim
their own renewal. Never withhold you gifts from a world that's
waiting for them.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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