Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Revisiting Albert Ellis


Stepping Up

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
                                               Albert Ellis

Albert Ellis was the father of 'Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy.' He said essentially that we should not allow our emotions to drive us because they are irrational, and what they tell us is usually wrong. Instead, we should contradict them with our rational minds. He was a great proponent of natural consequences. When we make bad choices, we can expect bad consequences, and when we make good, rational choices, the consequences are typically positive. Also, that the way we think about events in our lives can be just as stressful, sometimes even more so, than the actual events.

The fact that we are thinking beings is both a blessing and a curse. We are perfectly capable of emotionally going from zero to sixty in a nano-second. We can leap from 'he doesn't love me' to 'nobody loves me and I'm never going to be loved' without even breaking a sweat. We can take, 'I didn't do that task particularly well' to 'I'm a complete failure and incompetent at everything'. We're good at 'awfulizing', and blaming, and thus have become the most litigious society on earth. When I get a bad result at something, it is because someone else didn't do their job, or I was discriminated against because I have blue eyes, or there is a government conspiracy to undermine the American way of life. No wonder our current films and television shows are heavy on deconstructing society, invasions from other planets, and vampire wars. Everybody's out to get us.

I honestly believe that most Americans recognize hyperbole when they hear it. They know when a lie is a lie. They are perceptive when it comes to manipulation and stalling. But we've become a nation of adrenaline junkies. We love a good fight, a good chase scene, guns blazing and entire buildings blowing up. We love to jump into the fray, cast dispersions and blame, and hurl invectives willy-nilly at anyone who disagrees with us. It's a national sport.

I think it's time for us to take another look at Albert Ellis. Time to step back and observe ourselves individually and collectively. Let's step up, and take responsibility for our country and our lives. Let's tune out the hype, stop listening to the manipulators of information, and make some rational decisions for ourselves—for the good of all.

                                           In the spirit,
                                           Jane

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