Friday, July 6, 2012

Harps in Heaven


Tranquility

It is vain to say that human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility; they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.”
                                            Charlotte Bronte

I'm sitting on the screened porch of my friend, Ellen's, lake house. All is quiet; the lake is perfectly still. No humans are as yet screaming around on sea-dos or shrieking behind ski boats. Tranquility reigns.

Bronte is correct, however. We humans, although we talk about peace as something desirable, even picture heaven as eternal peace and tranquility, we can truly only take it in small doses. Then we get bored—and bored humans are dangerous. All the buzz here on the lake, for instance, is a murder-by-hire case that's been playing out in the local newspaper for a year. I sometimes think the police and the paper are in cahoots not to solve it until they've juiced it for all it's worth.

The story goes that the bored housewife (universally despised by all) of a prominent lawyer (the darling of the lake crowd) took a fancy to the gardener (aka yard guy). Their affair involved look-outs and smoke screens and went on for some time, scandalizing the neighbors. There's innuendo that drugs may have been involved—since the woman is morbidly skinny and dramatically made-up (always suspect).

The husband moved out of the lake house, back to town, and filed for divorce. That dragged out endlessly—bickering over settlement, property, and money (the usual culprits); with the wife refusing to sign the papers. Then one evening when the husband returned home from work, evildoers were lying in wait. They shot him, and just to make sure he was good and dead, stabbed him, too. They stole his car, drove it ninety miles to a back alley in a Birmingham suburb and torched it. Forty thousand dollars changed hands in a brown paper bag (southern style accoutrements).

The case lingers in the courts. Thus far, four people are in jail awaiting trial, but the wife is still as free as a bird (much to the chagrin of the lake crowd, who monitor her every movement). I'm telling you, it's O.J. in stilettos! People are so riveted by it, they don't even talk about religion and politics.

Next time you imagine heaven, don't put angels on clouds playing harps. Instead, give it a little mystery, a little intrigue—otherwise, you know, bad things may start to happen. I'm just saying...

                                     In the spirit,
                                    Jane

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