Do you have a sister?

Sisters are Forever

“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”

Pam Brown

My sister, Jerrie, was three-plus years old when I was born. She had been an only-child during World War II, in a small, mountain town filled with relatives who worshiped her. Her life changed over-night when my father returned from the Pacific ravaged, as all men are after years of combat. Suddenly, she was not the center of attention, and almost as suddenly, our mother was pregnant with me. Jerrie never recovered from my intrusion into the family. There was an incident when I was two that clinched the deal. One of our uncles, who had remained in the Navy after the war, brought her a hula-doll from Hawaii. She was small, with long, black hair, a grass skirt, and a hat that was a basket of fruits on her head—utterly exotic to a little girl who'd never left the mountains of North Carolina. When I got my hands on the doll, I pulled the fruits off the hat and ate them. I shudder to think what they were made of in 1948, but whatever they were, they were her fruits! When we were both in our 50's, she still reminded me of that grave sin I committed at two. “More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad or good.” (Linda Sunshine)

Margaret Mead said that sisters is the “most competitive relationship within the family,” but once the sisters grow up, they have the closest relationships. Not so with Jerrie and me. I have a daughter-in-law who has five sisters—she is second oldest. She seems closer to some of her sisters than others, and certainly, the competition has not abated. It extends from educational contention (so far all of them have gone either to law school or medical school; looks like the youngest will break with tradition and become a veterinarian), to who can give the silliest gift—Meg once received spinach stems for her birthday, because she won't eat them in her salads. All of these sisters will fight like a coven of witches, and then turn and defend one another to the death.

My sisters died in 2002 and 2005. Nowadays, I have sister-relationships with my girl-cousins, Sandy and Ann, and with several close women-friends. I am so grateful to have them in my life. I am going to a pool-party today at my sister-friend Isie's house to celebrate her sister, Craig, who's visiting from Indiana. I will get my sibling-kicks vicariously through them. I hope that if you have a sister you will give her a call today and let her know just how important she is to you. Remind her of some 'sin' she committed against you when you were five.

In the spirit,

Jane