What's it all about, Alfie?

The Pros and Cons of Holy Week

“The ego says, “I shouldn’t have to suffer,” and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.”
Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth)

We are fast approaching Holy Week, that time in the Christian calendar that every one of us would prefer to skip. The well worn path to the cross is one we have taken, reluctantly, year after year for our entire lives. To non-Christians, it seems ridiculous to revere this ‘child of God’ who was tried on trumped-up charges; who was abandoned and denied, spat on and beaten, and then killed in the most gruesome way possible. What sort of God would let that happen?

This is a question that we ask in a multitude of situations throughout life, isn’t it? How could a loving God allow that tsunami to wipe out thousands? How could a caring God allow that twister to shatter the lives of so many? What kind of God allows children to starve to death in refugee camps while we grow fatter? These questions arise and cannot be answered except to say that God, whatever God is, has nothing to do with it. Suffering is a part of life and living people are the ones who can relieve it.

“The man on the cross is an archetypal image. He is every man and every woman.” (Tolle) As little as we like it, suffering is the gateway to consciousness. Suffering, which we all avoid and think deeply unjust, is the fire in which the dross of ego is burned away to reveal pure soul. We don’t have to go looking for it; life will serve up some suffering to each and every child of God, for their own transformation. I don’t like it any more than anyone else, but truth is truth.

This is one good reason why we as parents should love and guide our children when they are young, but stand apart as they grow up and allow them their share of hardship. We suffer when they suffer, but that is ours to bear. The path to consciousness is prolonged and sometimes even impeded when we remove every obstacle, take away their lessons, and manipulate their lives to relieve our own anxiety. We don’t know what is ‘best’ for them, as we think. Loving means letting go, not hanging on to our adult children.

For those of us who would like to skip Holy Week and get right to Easter, I urge slowing down long enough to think about all the ways that discomfort has motivated you to make positive changes. I don’t recommend intentional suffering for anyone, but conscious suffering is essential to personal growth. The question is ‘what’s the lesson here; what can I learn from this?’ We can’t get to Easter without Holy Week.

In the spirit,
Jane