Finding the Right Direction

A Finger in the Wind

“The inner life of any great thing will be incomprehensible to me until I develop and deepen an inner life of my own.”
Parker J. Palmer

Remember that old thing we used to do as children: lick our finger and hold it up above our heads to see which way the wind was blowing? Even if we could see the trees bending over in one direction and the laundry on the clothesline blowing horizontal to the ground, we’d stick up that wet finger. Whenever the TV super heroes of our day, Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, were tracking someone or something, they’d hold up that finger, so we did too.

Checking wind direction is a good metaphor for developing an inner life. Do you ever find yourself feeling unreasonably sad, and wonder, ‘what’s this all about’; or exploding into rage at the dog for just being a dog, and wonder, ‘what is wrong with me’; or avoiding somebody that you normally like and think, ‘why am I doing this?’ Have you ever had a really potent dream about somebody you hadn’t thought of in years, and woke up asking, ‘where did that come from’? Have you ever had a day of high anxiety for no reason at all and wondered, ‘why am I so nervous?’ Those questions are all fingers in the wind. They are meant to point you in the proper direction—into you.

What we tend to do is blow off those curious sensations and go on with our busy lives until another occasion evokes the same feeling and the same question. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, or if life gets too uncomfortable, we stop and examine the situation long enough to ferret out its meaning. But, it’s surprising how long we can go, observing the symptoms like laundry blowing in the wind, and never trying to dig out the reasons for our sadness, anger, nervousness, or fear. Until we do, we’ll be baffled by the strong emotions of others, and blame others for our own strong emotions.

Ignoring one’s inner life is like missing the plotline of a really good movie. It’s like not reading the end of a great mystery. It’s half of your life, maybe more, and it’s rich and intriguing. Next time you hear your inner voice asking one of those questions, take the time to ponder the answers. You’ll feel more substantial and less blown about.

In the spirit,
Jane