January
Tribunal
“I
always try to lose weight. I don’t go for the brutal training programs, but I
do secretly stop eating carbs, fats, or whatever. Science proves again and
again that all diets work briefly, and pretty much all work the same, with
initial and exhilarating weight loss, then plateau, then weight gain and shame.
The weight we lose almost always finds its way back home, and it invariably
brings friends.”
Anne
Lamott (Almost Everything, p.153; Riverhead Books, NY, 2016)
This is
the time of year that, like migratory birds, we all head back to the gym in
hopes of shedding that extra ten we’ve put on since Thanksgiving ushered in the
season of holiday feasting. Aren’t we funny creatures? We always say, “What the
heck! It’s the holidays! Time to be merry and enjoy all this happy deliciousness!”
It’s even considered rude to not indulge, right! I mean, who does that anyway! I
still have fudge and lemon bars in my refrigerator, glinting their mean hearts
at me every time I open the door. I’ve disposed of everything else, but somehow
my hands simply will not take those out and deposit them in the trash. It must
be because I was abused as a child!
Please!
Let’s make peace with ourselves and the overindulgence of the holidays. Decide
for yourself what is more important for you—goosing your inertia and hauling
your butt back to the gym, or just eating salads for a while and adding 10
extra minutes a day to your walking routine. Or, gasp, living with the extra
weight. As Anne Lamott says, the weight we lose comes home to roost and it’s
likes the warm, soft places on our bodies.
To be sure,
the holidays are feast days, and we look forward to them all year for that reason.
So how can we have our cake and eat is too? The truth is, Americans trend
toward heavy simply because we have an abundant food supply, and unfortunately,
cheap alternative fast food. We eat more calories than we burn—it’s as simple
as that. And, as we age, and especially after we stop growing, our metabolism
can’t keep up with that. It’s slower, and we’re slower.
Other places in the
world, people walk most everywhere they go. They burn the calories they eat, so
they can afford to eat heavier foods—breads and cheese and meat. We, on the
other hand, get into our cars in the garage and drive to wherever we want to
go, park as close to the front door as possible, and maybe even ride on a motorized
shopping cart. We burn 3 calories and have a snack inside that contains 80.
All that said, the answer
is not to go on a crash diet. The answer is to eat fewer calories and move
more. Our bodies are designed for movement—and it doesn’t matter whether you go
to the gym if you step up your movement game. You can burn calories walking,
dancing, doing Zumba, riding a bicycle, or doing calisthenics. You cannot burn
calories sitting in a chair scrolling through Facebook or watching YouTube
videos. This is a lecture I’m giving myself. Y’all can listen in if you like. As
soon as I finish excoriating myself, I’m going cook breakfast and go for a
walk. Sensible, don’t you think.
In the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment