Your
Importance
“Most
of the trouble in the world is caused by people who want to be important.”
T.S.
Eliot
Have
you ever wanted to be famous? Have you done everything in your power to rise to
the top of the heap—to be a standout in your profession or a celebrated performer?
I had dreams of my own when I was in my 20’s and had made a name for myself
(probably for all the wrong reasons) in Raleigh, NC. I had an inflated notion
of my own importance. Full of ambition and a “conquer the world” boldness, I
married and moved to New York City. Trust me, there is absolutely no possibility
of a girl from Appalachia making a splash in the Big Apple unless she has “heritage.”
A name—like Vanderbilt or Hemmingway—might open a door or two, but nothing
short of that. It was just the put-down that I needed and happened early enough
in my timeline that I could tend to my bruised ego and move on.
I know
people, as I’m sure you do, who are still trying to find importance in their old
age. People who will do just about anything to be seen and heard. Many of them don’t
care whether the attention is positive or negative so long as all eyes are on
them. These days that mode of behavior has been elevated and celebrated. It has
become, not just a means of self-aggrandizement, but a means of degrading and
disrespecting others and being lauded for it. As a result, we have a social structure
that is virtually a battlefield, including bullets flying indiscriminately around
the heads of children. My mother used to tell me to “hold my tongue,” and now I
realize why. In an age when people are blatantly intolerant and not afraid to
express it, it’s wise to keep your mouth shut.
We can
look to the animal kingdom for role models. I think of a beehive, for instance, where the queen is of singular importance. Every activity of the hive centers around
her care and tending; feeding her, keeping her warm or cool, providing whatever
she needs to keep producing and laying eggs. The rest of the hive is only there
to serve the queen in one way or another. They don’t clamor for recognition or
protest their role in the hive. A drone doesn’t apply to become a worker bee
halfway through his life and then shoot the place up because his wish is not granted.
Watching
the movie Elvis reinforced my opinion that one of the worst possible outcomes
for any human being is to be revered as “important.” Elvis was dubbed “the King”
and worshipped by millions of people. He couldn’t go outside his door without
an armed bodyguard. People weren’t allowed to leave the building until he was
out and away because their adoration would have crushed him to death. He died young
from addiction to drugs and alcohol taken to relieve the constant stress of his
fame. Elvis, Hank Williams, John Lennon, Marilyn Monroe, Heath Ledger, Whitney Houston—and
so many others died because their fame demanded something they couldn't give.
We all have a choice
about how we want to live our lives—we can spend our precious time here on the
blue planet stiving for ego strokes and begging for attention. Or we can do
what wo love, be content with our lives and make whatever contributions are within
our means. We’ll likely be happier and far healthier if we do. Or we can spend
our lifeblood and vitality chasing fame and fortune. We can hit the road and
demand our piece of the pie. The problem is that the pie has no nutrition, is
fattening, and too small to go around—and some folks take more than their
share.
Importance is fleeting no
matter who you are. Here’s an antidote—do what you love with an open heart, live
within your means, and give thanks for the little things—a good night’s sleep,
a delicious meal, and the love of friends and family. You will always be important to them.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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