Good-People
Path
“I
define a good person as somebody who is fully conscious of their own
limitations.”
John
Bradshaw
What
does it mean to be a “good person?” We use this description to identify people
we like, or who agree with us. We usually associate being a good person with
being sacrificial; or serving others. My mother used to describe folks who had
a difficult life as “good people,” as though that were the sole requirement.
I’m pretty sure there are people who haven’t had difficult lives who are decent
enough.
As a student of Carl Jung, I believe that all humans have the capacity to be “good”
or “bad” and that the choices they make reflect which one of those they embody
at any given moment. All of us have a side that is hateful and nasty—anyone who
pushes our buttons will feel the truth of that. And all of us can show
compassion even when we don’t especially care for the person or the situation. It’s
a choice we make in the moment.
Being
truly good means that you know your own capacity for malevolence and consciously
choose not to act from it. Being good means that you are not afraid to confront
your own demons and look them in the eye. If you are a person who thinks they
have no demons, then you are far more likely to see them in other people. Those
other people are simply holding up a mirror for you. Being good infers that you
have made a moral inventory of your own mistakes and poor choices, and when you
see others make the same ones, compassion is what you feel, not judgement. Being
good does not mean that you never have an impure thought, or make a snide
remark, or say something hateful in the moment. But a good person also knows
how to say, I was wrong, and I’m sorry, and that won’t happen again.
It’s
important to know what pushes your buttons and why. It’s also good to know when your
buttons have been pushed and walk away rather than engage. I’m saying all this,
not because I’m a model good person, but because I am perfectly capable of
being hateful and nasty, and I’m trying to grow conscious enough to hold my
tongue when I’m triggered. I have a long way to go.
It’s
helpful to have role models in the “good people” category. They are kind to
everyone they meet. They treat all people the same way regardless of their
status, credentials, station in life, mental capacity, color, nationality,
gender, or religion. They are humble enough to laugh at themselves, and they
refuse to be hallowed and aggrandized. Highly evolved people are simple in
their lifestyle, they don’t need the trappings of wealth, fame, or influence.
They are not grandiose. If you know someone like this, keep them close. They
are a pearl of great price. Learn from them. But don’t feel like every time you
make a mistake you have utterly failed. Our mistakes are our best teachers. They keep
our feet on the “good people” path. We are all here for practice, not perfection.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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