Knowing
What to Fear
“Life
shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
Anais
Nin
According
to Master Jedi, Yoda, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Fear limits what we can do
in our lives. Fear of failure is guaranteed to lead to failure simply because
we allow it to rule. And yet…sometimes there are good reasons for fear.
Some
friends of mine are going to visit a cave in north Alabama. The cave belongs to
another friend and has some ancient Cherokee symbols and words in it. It is
protected as a national historic site. I know it is sacred space to many. And
yet, I don’t want to go.
I have
never been in a cave before because I sense that the enclosed space would trigger
a panic attack. As a very young child, I was frequently confined to a hospital
bed with an oxygen mask over my face. I had asthma in the days before there was
treatment for it. I have no memory of this, simply because I was so young, but
when I am in enclosed spaces, especially tight, dark spaces, my body reacts as
though I can’t breathe. It’s enormously uncomfortable.
So,
will going into a cave and triggering that sensation so that I can “overcome”
it serve me? Will it open my life to new adventures, new avenues of expression?
Perhaps. There’s no doubt that it would be an act of courage for me. My question
is, to what end?
If one
is afraid of drowning, if one cannot swim well even after taking swim lessons,
should they force themselves to jump into the deep end of the pool? Should they
dive into the ocean despite their fear? These are good questions. My question
is this: what does it serve? Can they live a perfectly happy life without ever
jumping into the deep end of the pool? Is that fear of drowning affecting other
areas of their lives? Do they have a deep desire to go into water that clashes with
their fear of drowning? In other words, does it cause them inner conflict?
I am a
great believer in not allowing fear to stop you from doing things you truly WANT
to do. In not allowing fear to limit your life to such an extent that you feel
sad and isolated. But forcing oneself to do dangerous things simply to confront
fear does not make sense to me. Fear of heights should not cause you to climb
up a 100-ft rock face just to show you’ve overcome it. It ranks right up there
with trying to “fit in” by engaging in risky behavior; by going against your
own nature and instincts just to prove you’re as courageous as the next.
Going into a cave is not essential
to my life; getting into an elevator is. Diving into the ocean is not essential
to your happiness; but being comfortable in a hot tub may be. If you can’t swim,
there is real reason to fear deep water. If you can’t breathe in confined
spaces, that is good enough reason not to go into them. Confront the fears that
limit your life in ways that you want to go. It takes courage to know yourself
well enough to decide what is important to you and what isn’t; in saying a
resounding “NO” to unnecessary experiments in overcoming fear. Plato said, “Courage
is in knowing what to fear.” I say, “You be you.”
In the Spirit,
Jane
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