Healing Happens

 

Your Ancestors
“Breathing in, I see all my ancestors in me: my mineral ancestors, plant ancestors, mammal ancestors, and human ancestors. My ancestors are always present, alive in every cell of my body, and I play a part in their immortality.”

Thich Nhat Hanh (The Art of Living)

          The summer edition of Parabola magazine is devoted to the Ancestors—yours and mine. At the deep end of that gene pool, we are all related, so we share ancestors. I remember Carol Proudfoot teaching us that when we work toward our own psychological healing, we are also healing the past, and the ancestors whose genes we are made from. That healing goes forward to our children and backward to our parents and grandparents, etc. We don’t talk about that often in our modern life—people must be very trusting to dig into such beliefs, even if they hold them close and true. And, let’s face it, there is so much punishment now for holding such beliefs, that even if we have them, we’re likely to keep our mouths shut.

          I had a conversation recently with my friends Ladonna and Dejuana about evolution in families. Our newest Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson, was the context. She spoke of herself being the hopes and dreams of slaves and outlined her family’s journey from slavery to the highest court. Each layer, each generation of our families brings another step forward. My own parents were born just before the great depression, lived through it, and brought the values of lack into their marriage. They were frugal, and saved everything they could, and taught me and my sister that just because you want something, doesn’t necessarily mean you get it. In fact, there was a “do it yourself or do without” ethic which passed along to me. I passed something similar along to my children—if you need something go get it, but if it’s simply “she-she” don’t. They are a lot freer with their relationship to money than I am, but they still carry the “waste-not, want-not” philosophy.

          Dejuana spoke about her great niece, who is now ten years old. She is a confident little girl, who knows how she thinks and feels about things, and is unafraid to speak her mind. I remember the days when children were to be seen and not heard; days, not that long ago, when female voices were ignored or silenced. Their opinion, even if it was informed, was not pertinent or welcome. That is still true in some places, but for the most part, we have evolved past it.

          As we personally evolve, we carry forward what could not be accomplished in earlier generations. My mother was not free to make her own decisions, since my father held final say. She was smart, and articulate, but I never knew much about her thoughts because she always deferred to her husband. Venturing out into the world was an impossibility for her. But I have done that for both of us. And my children have carried it even further with travel and study abroad.

          We think of evolution as a species change, but it is also a mental, psychological change and each person who expands their experience adds a new layer to the genetic ground for future generations. I find this exciting and hopeful. I encourage you to examine how you have helped to heal your ancestors. It feels good to know you have contributed.

                                                            In the Spirit,

                                                            Jane