Friday, March 11, 2022

Breaking Open

 

Fault Lines

“Yet it is precisely the crack in our lives that can let the light pour through. We do not spring into life perfectly formed. We each have our fault lines, and it is not by turning away from them that life suddenly takes on its full glory. No, I believe that we come to our fullness not in spite of our darkness, but in its embrace.”

Roger Housden (Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation, p.xi-xii; Harmony Books, 2003)

          In “Anthem” Leonard Cohen wrote the lines, “There is a crack in everything/ That’s how the light gets in.” I once heard Scott Peck speak about caring people in those same terms—only a broken heart is open enough to allow in the light of understanding. One of the iconic photos of Pope Francis is him kissing a badly deformed boy in a wheelchair. It shattered my own heart. It seems ironic that we strive for perfection knowing that what makes us real and approachable to other people is not our beauty but our flaws.

          I can only speak for myself, but I have spent half my life (a very long time) trying to fix myself—fix my personality flaws, fix my very ordinary appearance, fix my bad attitude toward so many things. Instead of looking at them as assets, I have treated them as ugly stepsisters and tried to banish them to the witchy woods. But, just like ugly stepsisters, they are hard to hide; they don’t cooperate. They demand to be seen and heard just like all the other parts.

          I used to do a lot of wooden furniture refinishing. It’s dirty, smelly work, but when you strip off layers and layers of grime and varnish, and sand wood down to its original surface, the authentic beauty comes through. Scratches, marks, and wear add to the patina. Sometimes people are like that too. When you manage to look past the layers of defensiveness and fear, you find a heart that is full of love and light. Wounded people who have healed have the patina of wisdom. Their hearts are open enough to accept others as they are, flaws and all.

          As Housden says in Risking Everything, we do not come into life perfect in every way; we come in with fault lines and cracks. Life sands us down; it polishes us to a fine patina. As Carl Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." If then, we are fortunate enough to become conscious, we can be the crack that the light shines through.

                                                            In the Spirit,

                                                            Jane

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