Light
Bringers
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light
of your own being.”
Hafiz
I’ve
been watching the Netflix series, Girls Guide to Divorce, about five Los
Angeles women—affluent, privileged—who are moving into midlife with teenaged
kids and ex-spouses who come and go and generally wreak havoc. These women are
self-sufficient, wealthy, and yet constantly searching for the perfect man and
soul mate. They make every possible mistake in the love department, and show
gaping holes in emotional development, even though they are successful businesswomen.
To me, the interesting part about the show is the kids—their preteen and
teenaged children. They are the wisdom keepers—they are doing their best to
reign in their parents’ deviant behaviors and keep them on their feet long
enough to take care of business. There are stunning role reversals. I guess
that is interesting simply because it’s familiar—though not for the same
reasons.
Growing
up in a dysfunctional household—which most of us do—causes children to mature faster
than they should. I don’t know whether that is a bad thing, but it makes
childhood less carefree. Sometimes, when things go off the rails at home
because Mom and Dad are fighting like mad dogs, children feel responsible—as if
they either caused it or should have the ability to fix it. Neither is true, of
course, but sometimes parents don’t take the time to explain that. Can you
imagine one of your parents saying to you the words of Hafiz above? “I wish
I could show you the astonishing light of your own being.” Or, building up
your ego strength so you could understand that whatever happens between Mom and
Dad is not because of you. The 12-Step folks say, “You aren’t the cause, and
you aren’t the cure.”
This is
not a condemnation of modern parenting. I think it’s more a morality play to
show the audience the repercussions of unconscious behavior on the part of
parents, and how the consequences ripple out to everyone who comes in contact
with them. Parents are human beings who have their fair share of flaws, as well
as their own brand of wisdom—they aren’t monsters intent on destroying your
life. It took me a very long time to understand that my mother and daddy were just
ordinary people with thoughts and problems of their own.
I send
you the message of Hafiz this morning: Your own light is astonishing. Let is
shine upon you, and within you, and around you so that the world can see you
for who you truly are—a Being of light.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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