On Being Human:

 

Metaphysical Beings

“I am a metaphysical being, mystical and emotional, skeptical and cynical, happy and boisterous, loud and bawdy, quiet and melancholy, tender and cruel, full of mirth and despair. Inherent inconsistences mark me as part of nature, which is neither cruel nor fair, or reliable, or predictable.”

Kilroy J. Oldster (Dead Toad Scrolls)

          Kilroy Oldster writes in the Dead Toad Scrolls, that the “greatest challenge in life is to be our own person and accept that being different is a blessing and not a curse.” It requires, however, that you 1) know yourself intimately—your persona, your motivations, your true desires in life, and as much of your shadow as is possible. It also requires, 2) that you eliminate from your life all demands that don’t support who you truly are, along with all the things that take up your time and energy that you do out of duty or remorse or lack of courage. Oldster didn’t say that—actually, I did but I am an oldster, so it counts.

          At this stage of life, I have jettisoned most of the drags on my time and energy that I was doing because I didn’t know how to say “no.” I wonder about you—are you still marching to someone else’s drum? Don’t feel bad if you are—it’s part of the human condition to want to fit in, to have a tribe. From birth on, we search for the community that invites us to be a charter member. We want to identify with a clan that will protect and defend our fragilities. We are, after all, mammals—not meant to go it alone.

          The rub is that even when we are deeply ensconced within a tribe, we have these rough edges that don’t exactly match the clan protocol. We have our own idiosyncrasies, our own needs for space and expression, and…well, there’s that strange habit that no one else knows about. These make us feel like a misfit even though, in some part of our mind, we know everyone else has their own weird proclivities too. It’s a lonely feeling, and we don’t like feeling lonely.

          In the quote above, Oldster points out our paradoxical nature—we encompass both ends of the pole on almost every trait. We can be incredibly kind and compassionate, or we can be heartless and indifferent. What we will do in any given situation is a crapshoot—even we don’t know half the time. The only thing we can do—with work on our consciousness—is know what we are capable of and then supply the necessary guardrails to protect ourselves and others when necessary. But those boundaries must also be permeable enough to allow in the people and possibilities we choose. It’s hard being human.

          The very best we can do is get up in the morning with all our paradoxes, proclivities, and personality quirks, and try to do the right thing. Be a good person minute to minute, even when you feel Mr. Hyde or Cruella Deville lurking behind your eyes. You cannot abolish them; just accept them as part of you, and still be your best self. If I can do it (sometimes), there’s hope for all of us. Good luck out there today.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane