Divine
Child
“But
love is really more of an interactive process. It’s about what we do not just
what we feel. It’s a verb, not a noun.”
bell
hooks
It’s
almost Christmas. Despite the new Covid variant, people are gathering with
family and friends for a festive holiday of eating and drinking and gifting.
Most of us look forward to Christmas all year. It’s a bit like giving birth to
a child—once it’s over, you are so happy and in love with the infant, you don’t
remember the pain.
I
dreamed this morning that I was at one of those large family gatherings, and
one of my sons had brought a friend who was in the process of gender
transition. My son and I were whispering on the sidelines about how to get through
the family meal without that being the catalyst for an explosion. I said
something to him like, “you don’t have to tell them; just don’t bring it up,”
as though the family was to be kept in the dark about this friend’s gender
change. That’s where the dream ended.
I am
not sure why this subject inserted itself into my dreams, except that it is
something strongly in the collective zeitgeist now. I’ve noticed, as I’m sure
you have, that more and more people are aware of the pronouns for self that
people choose, and that there are “gender-neutral” people everywhere. Gray’s
Anatomy, now in its 18th season, is a bell weather for lots of social
issues including same-sex and bi-racial relationships. The show has just added
a gender-neutral character to its cast. One of the regular characters, who has been
solidly heterosexual until now, is in love them. It’s all about bringing to the
collective consciousness the fluidity of gender and attraction.
I know
several families that have a member who has tracked a different course for
themselves. They have broken from what was traditional and blessed by the family
and made their life in a different vein. It takes enormous courage to do that. Some
of them have been summarily rejected by their families, and some have been told
their spouse or partner is not welcome at the family table. Every time I hear
this story, it saddens me. I know how much I love my sons, and how bereft I
would be if they were not in my life, so it’s hard to imagine a parent telling
a child, regardless of their age, you are no longer welcome here. But it
happens every day.
In this
season of joy and in this year of division, let us gather in love and
appreciation for the diversity of life that surrounds us. Diversity is a sign
of health, not of decline. May we embrace all kinds of differences and all
kinds of similarities, too. This season is about love—love that came to earth
in the form of a completely innocent, guileless being who would change the
world. When we look across the table this weekend and say a prayer of thanksgiving
for our abundant lives, let’s remember that we all want the same thing—to be
happy and to be warmly embraced by the people who love us.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment