Space Between Stimulus and Response

 

Lotus in Mud

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor Frankl

          My friend Isie gave me a book by Thich Nhat Hanh titled, No Mud, No Lotus. It’s about the necessity of suffering. The beautiful lotus flower, the symbol of enlightenment, grows in water and has its roots in the mud at the bottom of the pond. It’s a nice metaphor, and Hanh does, as usual, a beautiful job of explaining why suffering is the soil of emotional and spiritual growth.

          Life certainly will serve you up some pain, but I believe we don’t have to suffer if we choose not to. The Oxford Dictionary defines pain as a “highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury.” Suffering, on the other hand, is our response to pain and includes mental and emotional distress and hardship. Pain is a physical sensation that lets you know when something is wrong in your body. If we injure ourselves, we have no choice about being in pain. But the suffering—that’s optional. Suffering is based on the story we tell ourselves about the pain—for instance, that it’s never going to end, that it’s unfair, that we are being punished for something, etc.

          According to Thich Nhat Hanh, if we want to become enlightened, we need to suffer. Carl Jung said something similar—that people need to struggle to become conscious. When we wrestle with our demons, so to speak, we challenge our egocentrism, and come closer to understanding ourselves, our true motivations, and by extension, others. When we wrestle with our shadow—our dark side—we have an opportunity to correct our misconceptions about ourselves. We can clearly see that sometimes we are manipulative, negative, or needy. When we fail to wrestle with our shadow, or question our motivations, beliefs, and behaviors, we simply do not grow up psychologically. We remain as unconscious as children for our whole lives.

          Today, don’t let the mud stop you—take a look at the slime on the bottom of the pond, and know that it is fertile and full of possibilities for growth. Your lotus is going to be absolutely beautiful.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane