Thursday, August 12, 2021

Vulnerability:

 

Soul Contracts

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”

Pema Chodron

          Forgive me for the constant Pema quotes. I have rediscovered her after many years and am finding her approach to life more pertinent now than I did in my youth. This quote jumped out at me because of a conversation we had about vulnerability in the coffee klatch yesterday. I feel certain you have read Brene Brown’s book, The Power of Vulnerability, or listened to her TED talk on the subject. In it she makes a case for vulnerability as a starting point for all kinds of innovation and creativity, but also for dismantling the barriers we put up to protect ourselves from pain.

One of the major barriers is fear that if people really know us, know what goes on inside our heads, they will reject us. We try endlessly to project a strong, competent persona to the world, while pushing down the fear of failure. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, if you view it from the soul’s perspective), we don’t really have an option, because life, and our contract with our soul’s incarnation, doesn’t allow us to back out. What we are here to learn, as Pema says above, will keep coming up over and over until we get the job done. The universe keeps dealing the cards until we learn to play the hand. And that makes vulnerability our gateway to wholeness. Sounds like a paradox, doesn’t it?

Pema Chodron says, “Each of us has a ‘soft spot’: the place in our experience where we feel vulnerable and tender. This soft spot is inherent in appreciation and love, and it is equally inherent in pain.” All the experiences in our lives that produce a potent emotional hook—ones that bring us great passion, great love, and/or great pain—can be a soft spot for vulnerability. We develop triggers around the things we reject about ourselves, both physical and mental. It’s easy to push those buttons and get an out-sized response. We can either carry those painful buttons for life and spend tremendous energy trying to hide them, or we can put them right out there and own them. Once owned, they have less power and we become less vulnerable.

One of the facts that may or may not give us comfort in our vulnerability, is realizing that everyone is walking around with soft spots. We are all dedicated to self-protection. Your buttons may be different from mine, but we both have them. It’s okay. It’s all part of the human prototype. The cure for fear of exposure is to step into the light; to allow yourself to see and accept your own blemishes and then, it will be easier to accept those of others. Because, in the end, there is no difference between us.

                                        In the Spirit,

                                        Jane

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