Righteous
Anger
“Righteous
indignation is typically a reactive emotion of anger over perceived
mistreatment, insult, or malice of another. It is akin to what is called the
sense of injustice…righteous anger is considered [in Christianity] the only
form of anger which is not sinful.”
Wikipedia
A few
days ago, I wrote about my experience of having a new stove and refrigerator
delivered. It was not a happy thing though it should have been. I was so
excited to have new appliances to replace ones that were twenty-five years old
and worn out. As a follow up, I will tell you that things have not improved
with time. The new refrigerator is producing ice and frost in the freezer compartment,
and the new convection stove was delivered with only one oven rack for a 2-oven
stove. At this point, I have made 6 trips across town to Lowe’s; two of those
times, I was given racks from a display stove and none of them have fit. I just
ordered new racks from GE which cost me an extra $100.00. This brings me down
to one fully functioning appliance out of three. On top of that, the contractor
who was supposed to have started work this month on a laundry room left me a
voice mail yesterday saying that he and his whole family have had Covid, and he
wouldn’t be able to do my work. You may remember that the 1st
contractor took off to Virginia for another job. To say I have a little bit of
righteous indignation is like saying Mount Everest is simply unimpressive as
mountains go.
How
would you respond to this kind of frustration? I put this question to my coffee
klatch yesterday and they had differing responses. One suggested I approach it
differently—without all the anger—and maybe there would be a different outcome.
Perhaps I could use it to practice non-attachment and accept the mistreatment just
like any other thing—without reaction. Of course, this is the advice women have
been given since time immemorial—don’t show anger, it’s unladylike. No matter
what happens, even if you are abused and mistreated, suppress that anger.
I’ve thought about this a
lot in the last 24 hours. Not the unladylike part, but about the Taoist practice
of non-attachment. I believe there is a time and place for righteous
indignation, and even for outright anger. When someone, including oneself, is
being mistreated, abused, manipulated, or bullied, anger is an appropriate response.
In fact, anger is a healthy response. Anger is a self-defensive response to mistreatment.
When we suppress righteous indignation, we may feel enlightened in the moment,
but I believe that anger doesn’t go away—it just goes underground. Suppression
of anger is not healthy but taking time to decide what to do with that anger
is. Punching someone in the face is not an appropriate response, but stating
clearly what your experience is, and how you feel about it is a good thing to
do. Getting anger out in the open, without violence, is healthier than
suppressing it with self-righteous illusions. Anger underground is far more
destructive, far more likely to erupt when least expected and at the wrong
person than anger clearly stated and experienced in the moment. I just
fundamentally disagree that anger is always the wrong response. And when
injustice is involved, anger is the only proper response.
I would
love to hear your comments about this situation. How do you handle anger? Do
you always suppress it? Do you act out? What works best for you in terms of
expending your own energy on anger. It takes a lot out of you, but so does
mistreatment. Since we live in an angry age, it’s a subject that should be
discussed, don’t you think? Maybe acknowledging anger is all that needs to
happen to diffuse it. What do you think about anger? Leave me a comment.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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