Cooking
Is Love
“Cooking
is love made visible.” (Anonymous)
I set
out this morning to make gluten free cheese biscuits and deviled eggs for my coffee
klatch. One member of the klatch is newly diagnosed with celiac disease, and I
have other friends who are either vegetarian and/or do not eat sugar or bread
with gluten. I’m here to tell you, for a Southern cook like me, it’s truly a learning
curve. So far, I haven’t made anything that tastes “right” to me. But I
keep trying.
I had a
text from a friend last night saying how much he enjoyed meeting my North
Carolina family—about how much it meant to him, a stranger, to be “welcomed into
someone’s home, break bread with them and made to feel at home.” He called it “the
epitome of a great adventure.” It made me realize that my family has for as
long as I can remember offered food as a way of showing their love and
appreciation. My cousin Sandy cooked her heart out while we were there as she
always does, and then sent us home with bags of homegrown vegetables and
homemade pickles.
For me,
cooking has always been fun and creative. It’s true even when the food doesn’t
turn out exactly as I planned—it’s all a learning process. I once said in a
group of women friends how much fun it is to cook for men. As you might
imagine, I got quite the feminist backlash. What I meant was that typically,
men don’t worry so much about calories, and seem to have fewer food allergies
and predilections. When they like the taste of something, they just eat! Julia
Childs said, “People who love to eat are always the best people!” I
concur!
According
to Alan D. Wolfelt, “Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate.” My
family are not demonstrative of their feelings—possibly don’t even identify
their feelings. But if they love you, they cook for you. They cook all the
things they know you love. When my mother was living, she made each person’s favorite
cake when we came to visit. And always, her “famous” banana pudding.
Cesar
Chaves said, “The people who give you their food give you their heart.” When
I visited in a Mayan home in Guatemala in the late 1990’s, the family welcomed
us with coffee and pastries. I know that food was scarce for them; that to have
pastries was something reserved for special guests, but they insisted that we eat.
Graciousness is not based upon wealth, but upon a generous heart.
I agree
with Harriet van Horne that “Cooking is like love. It should be entered into
with abandon or not at all.” If you love people, share your hearth. It was
true a million years ago, and it’s true now.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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