Forgetfulness
“The
only thing faster than a thought is the speed of forgetfulness. Good thing we
have other people to help us remember.”
Vera
Nazarian (The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration)
As an
older person, I have frequent memory lapses—especially nouns. Names of things
and people have fallen into the silent lake of lost memory. It’s frustrating,
though quite amusing, to witness a group of old folks trying to have a
conversation. One person will begin a sentence, draw a blank in the middle of
it as a word evades expression, and another will finish the sentence, or supply
the word. I remember a play one of my sons was in in high school in which two
older couples were playing a trivia game with their teenaged grandson. He asked
a question about a particular movie star and their answers were, “Oh, he’s the
one with the nose, remember? Oh, yes, and the hair, remember the hair!” All the
old folks knew who the person was, none of them remembered his name, but all of
them thought they had correctly answered the trivia question. It’s a secret
game and a foreign language played expertly by old folks all the time. It must drive
young people crazy. To them I say, just wait! Your time will come.
Kahlil Gibran said, “Forgetfulness
is a form of freedom.” To an extent, I agree with him. Part of the
mellowing of old age is exactly that—you forget who to be mad at for past offenses.
So, you just let them go. That’s a good thing. Resentments, grudges, old jealousies,
and slights fade away and mostly we remember the good times and the people who
made our lives happier or who taught us a lesson we needed to learn. It takes
too much energy to keep up a nasty attitude all the time.
By the time you are in
your 60’s or 70’s, the accumulation of your own sins stacks up to the point
where you realize that judging others for anything they might do is simply
laughable. If you can self-evaluate at all, you realize that any “sin” anyone
else has committed is something in your past (or present) as well. What takes the
place of judgement is sympathy for the pain they are in; also, the pain you
yourself have felt. Call it mellowing, but I believe it is the way that life
allows one to ease out of negative mindset. When older people don’t do this,
they become bitter.
Old age has its
challenges, but so does every other age. I sometimes feel great empathy for
young people today—navigating life with so much meanness surrounding you is just
plain sad. All the bullying and shaming and scapegoating certainly happened in
the past but wasn’t so global and ever-present. Good thing youthfulness carries
resilience with it. Every age has its saving grace if you think about it.
Well, I’m rambling, as
old people do. I’ll bid you good day and God bless. I hope you remember
everything you need to remember today. If not, I hope you can laugh about it.
In the Spirit,
Jane
1 comment:
Beautifully written … perfectly describes how I feel at times.
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