A Little Bit of Crazy
“Family.
A little bit of crazy. A little bit of loud and a whole lot of love.”
Unknown
We have
been celebrating my cousin-in-law’s 70th birthday. She came into the
family 14 years ago and I can honestly say that she is the best thing that has
ever happened to this ragtag family. It’s important to appreciate the
difference just one person can make—for good or for ill—in any family. It’s an
uphill challenge for the new one to find footing in the tribe and devastating
when they fail. But this one! She is a star!
Sometimes
it’s not the new person that fails, but the family itself. Sometimes the
boundaries are so heavily guarded, so brutally defended that the new applicant
for family inclusion cannot penetrate the defenses. In our case, we have
embraced this second wife with jubilation.
Three-sport
athlete and Ohio State Hall of Famer Wes Fessler said, “The only strength
that matters is the strength that makes you what you are in the eyes of those
you love.” In a family, strength sometimes looks like weakness—it’s keeping
your mouth shut when you have an opinion contrary to the prevailing view. This
tactic is not intended to stifle so much as to prevent sparking a food fight in
the middle of a perfectly nice meal. In the Coffee Klatch, Harry told a story
about a friend of his who, when conversations wandered into the weeds, would
say, “How about them Dawgs!” (GA Bulldogs) So now whenever we are about to step
into treacherous territory conversationally (i.e. politics, religion, etc.) we shout
out, “How about them Dawgs!” Humor—at least, humor without a bite—can defuse
almost any situation. And defusing is often what’s required when a family comes
together.
There is
an anonymous quote that states, “In the family, there is strength that all
the power in the world cannot undo.” Whether it is family-of-origin, or
family-of-choice, there is no stronger bond and no greater love than what we
find in the crucible of family. For that I am forever grateful.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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