Ride
the Rapids
“How
many times do we lose an occasion for soul work by leaping ahead to find
solutions without pausing to savor the undertones. We are a radically
bottom-line society, eager to act and to end tension, and thus we lose
opportunities to know ourselves for our motives and our secrets.”
Thomas
Moore
Some people
do not like to hear that pain is essential to growth. My friend, Anna, told me
she did not believe that, and she may be right. I know for myself, however,
that if I am comfortable, if everything in my life is running smoothly, I don’t
wrestle with my demons. It’s like riding the crest of a never-ending wave—why rock
the boat when you’re sailing pretty? So, it comes naturally to us to act
swiftly to cut off any pain and suffering that has the potential to knock our little
surfboard off the heights. We shut it down. We take care of the problem. Hardly
ever do we stop to probe the depths. “Why am I suffering?” is not a question we
ask, or if we do, the answer is externalized. We cast it outside, attribute it
to someone else’s behavior, or to our unforeseen circumstances. If we are the
one who is suffering, however, the problem belongs to us.
Franciscan
frier Richard Rohr said, “In terms of soul work, we dare not get rid of the
pain before we have learned what is has to teach us.” And yet, we do because
it is…well, painful. Carl Jung said, “There is no coming to consciousness
without pain.” Granted, most of us don’t want to become conscious of
ourselves or anything else. We certainly don’t want to deal with our “radically
bottom-line society,” so we skim along on the surface of life, hoping that the
gods will not notice and throw a wrench into our works. But here’s the problem
with that—the gods reside within, so they know what we’re up to. And they’ve
got plenty of wrenches to throw.
Robert
Bly says, “What happens when a man falls in love with a radiant face across
the room? It may mean that he has some soul work to do. His soul is the issue...”
Bly suggests that rather than pursuing the woman, the man go alone to a mountain
cabin for three months, “write poetry, canoe down a river, and dream.”
Not that love at first sight never happens, but when it does, we might want to
give some time to considering what aspect of soul that “other” embodies. It
would drastically reduce the number of failed relationships and divorces in
this country if we didn’t “jump the gun” on speedy involvements. Denying
oneself instant gratification is painful, yes. But so is divorce.
According
to Angeles Arrien, “We are here on Earth to become who we are meant to be.”
And we won’t discover who we are meant to be if all our energy goes toward
skimming the surface. Life will find a way to send us over the waterfall and
straight into the rapids because we are here to evolve our souls, and we can’t
do it without struggle. Sad, but true.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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