Every Hand's A Winner

Know When to Hold Them

“…Every gambler knows

That the secret to survival

Is knowin’ what to throw away

And knowin’ what to keep.

‘Cause every hand’s a winner,

And every hand’s a looser,

And the best that you can hope for

Is to die in your sleep…”

Kenny Rogers (“The Gambler”)

          For my cup of tea, Kenny Rogers was one of the best songwriters ever, and the story of the gambler is a case in point. I woke up this morning with the refrain running in my head, which was all I knew of it by heart. The song tells a story about a chance encounter on a “train going nowhere” by two down and out men “too tired to sleep.” The gambler offers some advice for a drink of whiskey and a cigarette and then proceeds to tell his fellow traveler that he has made “a life out of reading people’s faces and knowing what the cards are by the way they hold their eyes.” He observes that that his companion is “out of aces.” The advice he gives, that the key to survival is “knowing what to throw away, and knowing what to keep,” is advice we all could use.

          This pearl of wisdom applies to so many things in life—choosing what to throw away and what to keep—from possessions to people to ways of life. I’ve had so many conversations lately about this very thing as it applies to numerous aspects of existence. What do I need to throw away—self-pity, self-indulgence, resentment, jealousy, and all the other ego-driven emotions. Also, toxic relationships, and connections that are causing pain and suffering, either for ourselves or for others. Jobs we hate, addictions, dead-ends and unresolved issues. Often, we don’t realize that we can simply put those things down and walk away. Not everything is meant to be solved in life—in fact, most things that we stress over are not even ours to solve.

          What we need to keep is anything, anybody, any relationship that brings out the best in us, that brings us joy. Whatever makes you sing, whatever fills your soul, whatever warms your heart—keep that. Those are the secrets to survival and not just by a thread, but by a happy mile. Keep looking ahead and not backward, and don’t give up on anything you love. Thrive, don’t just survive.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane