Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Step 1:

 

Confront Your Shadow

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Carl G. Jung

          This is a quote about what Jung termed, The Shadow. I have written extensively about this, but it bears repeating. What we humans, myself included, do is operate as if we have no shadow, and see ourselves in our persona form only. The image of this that comes to mind is someone standing in bright sunlight. The sun shines on their face and the front side of their body, and casts behind them a dark shadow. The brighter the light on the front, the darker and closer the shadow behind. If I think of myself as “good” only—I’m helpful and gracious, I live to serve other people, I am always looking out for you, I am a devout Christian—then I cast behind me the shadow side of all that. Usually, that involves constant attempts to control the behavior of others so that their lives fall in line with my own goals and values. The shadow side of being oh-so-helpful, is being controlling and dogmatic. When we only see the light side of us—the one that always tries to do good—we are highly likely to miss the shadow that stands behind us. That is a recipe for disaster.

          If this all sounds fanciful, and like psyco-babble, think of the times we are living in. We are in a world of Us and Them thinking—democrats vs republicans, conservatives vs progressives, autocrats vs socialists, rural vs urban and so on—and depending on which camp aligns with our values, we find the other side reprehensible. Which is to say, we cast our shadow onto them. If I am an environmentalist confronting an oil fracking company, I will say all manner of derogatory rhetoric about that company. And if I am CEO of an oil company, I will call environmentalists blood sucking liberals. We dehumanize the other so that we don’t have to recognize ourselves in their mirror.

          We have created this adversarial world by refusing to confront our own shadow—individually and collectively. And, until we do, we will continue to be adversaries and refuse to work together to solve the very real problems that we face collectively. Until we contemplate our own shadow and make it conscious, as Jung said, we will continue to operate from it and blame others for the problems it causes. Until we recognize that every human being has the capacity for both good and evil, including ourselves, we will huddle in our camps and throw stones. If we don’t like what we see in the world, we should look inside ourselves. This is true for me, and for you.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

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