Bless
Your Past
“Value
your past and all the lessons you’ve learned.”
Melody
Beattie (Journey to the Heart, p.64, Harper San Francisco, 1996)
Too
often we hear people denigrate their past. They don’t appreciate how they were brought
up, the values of their parents, the lifestyle of their family of origin, the
small-minded community where they grew up, the first marriage partner, the
in-laws, or the previous bosses and dead-end jobs along the way. I have even been one
of those complaining people at times. It’s easy to see our lives in the
rear-view mirror and pick apart the mistakes we and others made.
What if
we were to give that a quarter turn? What if we were to name the lessons
learned, experiences and skills acquired during and because of our past? Regardless
of how we feel about it now, we gained invaluable skills because of it.
Independence, perhaps; the ability to chart our own course, the skills
necessary to make a home for ourself and others.
Folks of my generation learned
how to clean a house, how to cook and sew, and how to manage on a budget. We
learned how to plant and grow a garden and preserve the food. How to build a
fire, and how to cook over one if necessary. No one taught us specifically,
although both boys and girls took home economics in high school. We could
also take shop classes where we learned cabinetry and car maintenance, and how
to use tools without cutting off our hands. What person doesn’t wish their
spouse had those skills today?
Mostly we learned by doing
and by helping others. What we also learned from those humble endeavors was how
to work cooperatively, how to follow directions and how keep a schedule. In
other words, we learned how to work, even if we complained
non-stop the entire time. In fact, one of the obvious weaknesses of our current preferred
lifestyle, which shows up when we have a disaster like the deep freeze in Texas
last week, is the lack of these simple survival skills. Have we taught our children
how to take care of themselves when there’s no one around to do the job? Our
kids are whizzes on the computer, but have difficulty knowing how to trouble
shoot when the power goes out. But I digress.
Looking back at the past
with critical eyes, neglects some real and important truths. We are who we are
because our past was what it was. Instead of being able to name the failures
and mistakes of our past—our own and our family’s—why don’t we make a list of
gains. There is no relationship, and no job—domestic or business—that does not
teach us something. Even if what we learned is what we don’t want to be or do
for the rest of our lives, that’s important to know.
The best thing we can do
is bless our past and set it free. Bless our own stupid mistakes and send them
on their way. Bless the people who taught us painful lessons and blow them a
kiss on their way out. Let all of it float away like votive candles on a still
pond. They make a beautiful sight even when we remember that the pond was once
full of snapping turtles.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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