Saturday, January 30, 2021

Willful or Willing?

 

The Power of Will

“Not only do we need a kitchen to bake bread, we need the will to be engaged in the process. This is true of loving also. Without the will to love, we cannot be consistent.”

Gunilla Norris (Becoming Bread: Meditations on Loving and Transformation, p.17; Bell Tower, 1993)

          Will plays a large role in the way we choose to live our lives. Simone Weil said, “Love is a direction and not a state of the soul.” In other words, we must follow where it leads, or lose our way entirely. Will is the root word for both willing and willful and between the two lies a vast prairie fire. Willful is a state of mind in which we attempt to push the river, never accepting its natural flow. We want life to be as we wish it to be, and we are willing to abandon ethics and sometimes even common sense to force it to be. Willing is more like swimming in the river, going with its flow while avoiding rocks and low hanging branches. We accept life on its own terms and learn to enjoy its twists and turns.

          We are taught in church that God gave humanity free will to choose in every circumstance which direction to go. There are days when I think the Creator must regret that decision, for there are always people for whom willful seems the best choice in all situations. I am not pointing fingers here, for in my own life I have chosen willful more than I care to admit. I did not find it to be terribly rewarding. Being willful—trying hard to force others in the desired direction—is based upon fear and lack of trust. We tell ourselves, “If I don’t make this happen, who knows where I’ll end up.” Or we seize upon the old cliché: “My way or the highway.” We cannot imagine that life itself will take us where we need to go, or that we might be led to a destination that is more perfect for us than the one we believe we want. Willingness is allowing life to flow.

          If you have ever made bread, you know that there is a difference between kneading and beating. The dough must be massaged, folded, pressed, but if you are rough in your handling of it, the bread comes out tough and hard. It doesn’t rise properly, and all your work is for nothing. It is the same with love—you can’t beat it into submission, and you cannot regulate the way it is expressed. Love must be allowed to come to you in its own good time and in its own way. We must be willing, not willful.

We will never know what good things may come our way until we stop trying to turn the tide, and simply allow it to rise and fall according to its own nature. We can trust that life knows the right direction.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

         

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