Thursday, January 14, 2021

Love the Child Within

 

Disruptions

“But just as often, if not more often, the interruption comes not from another but from the self itself, or some other self within the self, that whistles and pounds upon the door panels and tosses itself, splashing, into the pond of meditation.”

Mary Oliver (Upstream, “Of Power and Time”, p.23, Penguin Press, 2016)

          Anyone who does creative work, whether that is visual art or speech writing or constructing a business report, knows that unfettered time and space are needed. One must be able, as Mary Oliver says, “to pace, to chew pencils, to scribble and erase and scribble again.” Interruptions are unwelcome distractions that cause one to lose a train of thought, a cogent bit of memory, a color combination. It is like seeing a gorgeous sunrise and while trying to find your camera, the sun emerges and fades all the colors. Having the phone ring, the doorbell clatter, or in my case, the dog bark as though Godzilla is breaking in, can interrupt a perfect thought that never returns.

          Most often, however, those interruptions don’t come from without—not from phone calls or doorbells—but from within. Some part of our brain—the part that likes to talk—decides this is the ideal moment to remember that you were supposed to make a doctor’s appointed today, that you are out of coffee, or that your great-niece’s birthday is next week, and you still haven’t bought a gift. During this time of pandemic isolation, it seems as though we should have gobs of unfettered time. Stuck at home, we should have the space and freedom to ponder, to consider, to create, but our insides are so jumbled and worried and craving attention, that they distract us like a neglected three-year-old. Now I’m hungry, now I need a nap, now run to the grocery store, now carry out the trash—an so it goes. Our brains do whatever it takes to break our concentration.

          I think I speak for many of us when I say, take a break. Cut yourself some slack. This Covid-craziness is weighing on us in ways we don’t even understand and it’s taking a toll on our mental health. We compound our discomfort by condemning ourselves for being distracted, disorganized, disoriented. We would not do that to a child, and it’s the child within us that is scared and in need of attention. Just be kind. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to that proverbial three-year-old. This is hard stuff. It’s okay to be a little bit distracted.

          Creative work, study, putting together a presentation, making dinner, all require concentration. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to work in short bursts rather than long hours. When we feel tired, rest. When we are short-tempered, apologize. Tell the truth. Our fuses are already lit, so we need to limit the amount of negativity we allow in. Feeding negative energy is neither conducive to productivity nor to peace of mind. Breathe. Smile. If you cannot go outside, at least, look out the window. We may need to be like my grandpa, and just stare at the sky until we feel calm. Give yourself permission to be out of sorts. Love the child within you even when she/he is in a bad mood. We are doing the best we can to get through this hard time. Let’s love and support ourselves and each other.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

         

         

         

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