Body and Soul

Get Comfortable

“The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are—bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling—when you don't feel the need to apologize for anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.”

Charles Handy

There is nothing more attractive in a person than being comfortable with who they are. We humans can tell in an instant whether someone is or is not okay with themselves and we respond accordingly. As you might imagine, when we sense that someone is not being authentic, we automatically feel suspicious. We are less likely to trust them, and their discomfort causes a restless feeling in us. This, I believe, is a mammalian trait. I have noticed it among the dog pack that is here most days. When one animal is nervous or insecure, the others either bully them or ignore them. We see the same behavior in young children—if someone has a sensitive spot, others will seize upon it to minimize that person and maximize themselves—or so they think. We have a president who seems stuck in the mentality of a fourth-grade bully. Nothing speaks of insecurity so loudly as bullying another.

A person who is secure in themselves has neither need nor desire to bully others. They take themselves with a grain of salt—can easily laugh at their own gaffs, and are typically self-effacing in every way. Which is why they are easy to be around—they don't take themselves too seriously, don't take things personally, and feel no need to be pompous or defensive. There is no hierarchy of status for them; they treat everyone the same. In psychological circles, they represent the tip of the pyramid of human development whether they have achieved financial success or not. They are emotionally evolved. When we meet someone like this, our guard comes down. We are made comfortable by their transparency and their genuine interest in us.

The very best thing we can do for ourselves is to get comfortable in our own skin. There is no formula for that except to begin to accept yourself, body, mind and spirit. We are typically our own worst critic, and no one benefits from self-rejection. Changing our self-talk from negative to positive is a first step. We were born into the body we have, and we can develop that body, just as we can develop our mind and spirit. But in the end—well...this is who we are. In Boy Proof, Cecil Castellucci put it this way: “Is there any other way to be? I mean, this is it. This is my body, my soul. I gotta live with it. I'd better get comfortable. I plan on taking it for a long ride.” You've got good skin. Get comfortable in it.

                                                                In the Spirit,

                                                                      Jane