Thursday, March 7, 2019

Soul-Search


Motives

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (American Activist, 1815-1902)

If you're doing a little soul-searching during this Lenten season, there is no better place to begin than with motives. What are my motives for doing what I do? You will find it to be a Tar Baby, I'm afraid. We begin with our superficial motives, and work our way down, and the deeper we go, the stickier it gets. We always know that our motives are suspect when we lie about something—even little white lies. For instance, when we say, “You look really nice today,” to someone we don't think looks particularly great, and/or we don't like very much, we're sitting at the top of a slippery slope. On the surface, it's innocuous, it's innocent enough, but underneath, it's a clue that we're trying to curry favor. And we're likely trying to curry favor because we want something from them, or we want something they have. We tell ourselves we're just trying to “be nice,” but the underlying motive is manipulation. See what I mean—Tar Baby.

Still, it's important to investigate our motives for the simple reason that it gives us a clearer view of our Shadow. We catch a glimpse of that part of us that hides in the shade of our sparkling persona. Some people say the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. It's only human to want to present ourselves in our best light—we certainly don't want to unleash the dark parts of us on an unsuspecting world, but it's important to know what they look like. That way, when they show up, we recognize them for who they are. Crimes of passion are often committed by people who say, “I don't know what came over me. I would NEVER hurt anyone. I just lost it.” That's what can happen when we don't know our Shadow. We unwittingly cause harm.

Motives are sometimes positive, don't get me wrong. Not everything is dark. And even when we do something to advance ourselves, we may still be serving a good purpose. If I give large amounts of money to a charity so that I will be invited to their gala where I will rub elbows with people who may be influential in advancing my career—well, the charity still benefits, right? If I push my son to pledge a fraternity because I was never invited to and I want to live vicariously through him; I want to brag to my friends that my son is a Pi-Kappa-whatever—my son will still enjoy the Greek life (and hopefully survive it). That may sound extreme to you, but it happens all the time. We have a stated motive that camouflages a mini-cesspool of underlying motives, but somewhere, somehow, something good comes of it. It's a wonderful serendipity when that happens, but it's still good to know exactly what the real intentions were.

As we begin this march toward Easter, or toward Spring, let's do a little soul-cleansing. You don't have to punish yourself—just claim all your parts. When we recognize our Shadow just as it is, we can make friends with it. It has it's purposes, it is worthy of respect. It does what the “goody-two-shoes” part of us cannot, and we need that. Our Shadow is every bit as much a soul-part as old goody, so don't banish, just keep a close watch.

                                                             In the Spirit,
                                                                  Jane

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